Agreed - this needs to be discussed. It's bothering you and it needs to get out on the table, get all its yucky pieces talked about, and see where you all go from there.
Reestablishing trust is hard, especially this soon, but it'll be impossible to really regain it if she's never given a chance to violate it (and shows that she doesn't).
But if that trust does get violated, at least talking about it beforehand will give them an idea of what the consequences would be. If you discuss it ahead of time, and they still make the decision to go ahead with it, it's a conscious decision, much different from the "doing now, asking forgiveness later" methodology if they know there's no "forgiveness" to be had.
I'm glad you're all talking again - please bring this up among the three of you and discuss it. It needs to be brought out into the light.