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  #11  
Old 05-12-2013, 12:54 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Dirtclustit, you do realize that the term "unicorn hunters" is already a bash? Unicorn hunting is not something to aspire to or be proud of. It isn't applied to every couple that gets involved with a single bi woman, but when it is used, it is a criticism of their approach. So, to say that people bash unicorn hunters is sort of an oxymoron, when unicorn hunting is already a negative term.


When you think of it that way, unicorn-hunter-bashing is a GOOD thing, because in math, multiplying two negative numbers gives a positive number. So, two "wrongs" make one "right".

Now that that's settled, time to go have breakfast. Who's coming with me? Also, who wants to eat breakfast with me afterward?
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  #12  
Old 05-12-2013, 02:09 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Omg lmao
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  #13  
Old 05-12-2013, 02:13 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I want pancakes!
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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  #14  
Old 05-12-2013, 04:13 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I want pancakes!
Heck with the pancakes. I want chocolate... The good stuff from Germany not the cheap American crap.
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  #15  
Old 05-12-2013, 04:14 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I want pancakes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Heck with the pancakes. I want chocolate... The good stuff from Germany not the cheap American crap.
: i probably do have the stuff to make banana and/or chocolate chip pancakes, but i'm afraid all i have are Hershey's.

Well now it's brunch time so how about some V-8 with your vodka instead? We can pretend we ordered room service at a fancy hotel. After that, we can take pictures of each other lighting our farts on fire.

This is what i like to do for fun on lazy sunday mornings.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-12-2013 at 04:18 PM.
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  #16  
Old 05-12-2013, 06:10 PM
Blopez5293 Blopez5293 is offline
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Unhappy This is why.....

I don't post that much. This righteous dislike of so called unicorn hunters. I am married and bisexual. I do have this ideal of a long term poly-fi situation. We are not practicing as yet because I am the type of person who needs to research before I can start a new situation. So when I entered the site of polyamory.com I thought I was coming to the best place to learn about how to begin this journey of ours in an honest and ethical way. I don't really post because I ran into the wall on unicorn hunter right off the bat. I want the third person for our relationship and am willing to work or it. But on this site just saying that is what I want and willing to work for it gets me attacked. I know she will be a person in her own right and have no interest in turning her into property. And I can't answer the what would you to questions because my reaction to any given situation would revolve entirely around said situation. I just think there had to be a better way to discuss the pitfalls without accusing people we don't know.
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2013, 09:07 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blopez5293 View Post
I don't post that much. This righteous dislike of so called unicorn hunters. I am married and bisexual. I do have this ideal of a long term poly-fi situation. We are not practicing as yet because I am the type of person who needs to research before I can start a new situation. So when I entered the site of polyamory.com I thought I was coming to the best place to learn about how to begin this journey of ours in an honest and ethical way. I don't really post because I ran into the wall on unicorn hunter right off the bat. I want the third person for our relationship and am willing to work or it. But on this site just saying that is what I want and willing to work for it gets me attacked. I know she will be a person in her own right and have no interest in turning her into property. And I can't answer the what would you to questions because my reaction to any given situation would revolve entirely around said situation. I just think there had to be a better way to discuss the pitfalls without accusing people we don't know.
Not trying to accuse or bash or attack or even actually change your mind about what you want, per se. But you said you were doing research (right on!), so, in case you haven't read it yet: http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-c...nicorn-hunter/ (helpful both for understanding why people are so accusatory, and for recognizing common pitfalls, just really well written and balanced).
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  #18  
Old 05-12-2013, 10:11 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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MY issue with Unicorn hunters are they are forcing couple privilege upon someone else. Meaning that most of the time the primary union comes first and you play by our rules or else.

The situation seems to come with a mile long list of rules..

You can only date both of us...
You can only see us every 3rd Saturday..
If so and so gets jealous you can be kicked out..
Our life events are more important than yours...
You have to have sex with both of us together...
Husband has to watch....
Your life has to revolve around us...

Blah blah blah.. There is no room for relationships to grow organically at its own pace.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.

Last edited by Dagferi; 05-12-2013 at 10:18 PM.
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  #19  
Old 05-13-2013, 01:15 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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My pet peeve about unicorn hunters is that they have this notion of how it MUST be and then they moan and wail when they caaaaan't fiiiiiind someone waaah!!!!!! This after deciding they "are poly" two months ago and being on OK Cupid for like a week.

There are other things to roll one's eyes about when it comes to this "perfect triad" stuff, but it's the attitude of ENTITLEMENT that makes me vomit in my mouth just a little bit each time.
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  #20  
Old 05-13-2013, 02:07 AM
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franchescasc franchescasc is offline
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Default I appreciate the warnings...

As someone in a developing triad, I have poured over the recommended links and posts about unicorn hunters. Of course our situation is different because my gf and I started up as a totally separate relationship in a V formation. Just recently have my husnand gf started having feelings for eachother. But many of the warning signs scared me at first. A couple with little poly experience (we have none) was one red flag I consistently hear. But I'm committed to letting each relationship develop as they will without putting definitions on what they have to look like. (Someone remind me of this if I have a freak out). This means MD and FJ are planning to have solo dates, and eventually solo sex if they want. Which they do. If MD and I don't work out, I don't know how I could handle her and FJ still dating, but I will have to handle that as things come up if ever. Pouring through this forum and reading the advice and links has been crucial to helping me sort through how to handle this stuff.
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