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Old 05-09-2013, 02:10 PM
monopoly4376 monopoly4376 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 8
Default I'm confused, and I need help (-.-).

I've posted at least once before, and while I might not have responded (can't recall), everyone was really nice, really helpful. Last night, I was at a complete loss, and then I realized that I could come here and probably get some answers.

A guy I've been dating a while asked me to be his wife, but he says that he wants a family in a "polyandry" type of way. Personally, I'm out of my realm with all the definitions, so I think it's easier for me to just think "polyamory". Well, he says that he's met this guy who is also poly, but he says that he wants me to be his wife regardless of this other guy. Only, he doesn't want to marry me. I've heard of poly groups at least having a marriage or two, so I kind of hoped that he'd marry me in some way, but he says that he doesn't even want to be common-law married to me, that he wants to avoid favoritism and not marry anyone. Now, he said he'd give me a ring, and I thought he also meant to marry-marry me, not just, well, not marry me legally or anything. I'd already agreed to be his wife in a poly family, so I'd feel like a fool for backing out now. It's just, I've been raised Catholic, and I'm going against my faith for this guy. Faith issues aside, I feel like I'm making a very big sacrifice. I just, I'm so confused. He says that I can "bring in" people, but he says that I shouldn't marry either. I feel so lost!! Plus, I have no idea when all this is going to be put into action, and I'm not sure that it's fair to ask me to put my life on hold like that.

So, that's the background info. What I'm wondering is if poly families do that at all, just don't marry anyone in the group, I mean. How do big poly groups handle the common-law rule, handle the law?
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