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Old 05-07-2013, 11:56 PM
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Kalea Kalea is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: the midwest USA
Posts: 22
Default OKC and Poly Relationships

After perusing the threads here, I discovered OKC.

I joined. For those of you who are members of OKC, what has been your experience with it in regards to poly?

Is it about average, not good, great, so-so or (fill in the blank).
New and open to learning and experiencing all that polyamory has to offer.
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Old 05-08-2013, 12:33 AM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,885

I've deleted my pic. Got too many shallow messages about my looks. I've been a member since 05 and only met up with 2 people, both really cool.
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Old 05-08-2013, 04:14 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 125

Not so great. I think a lot of people didn't really read my profile. They didn't care about poly; they only cared about the photos and the "available" status (or not even the status). A lot of the people who messaged me didn't seem poly themselves either. They seemed more into casual dating or casual sex. It doesn't help that I'm asexual and have no interest in casual sex or sex on the third date or anything like that. Even real poly people are usually too sexual for me. It also doesn't help that I live in a small city without a poly community. I had some interesting conversations with long-distance matches on OKC, but most of the friendships have died out now. Generally speaking I think OKC was mostly a waste of time for me (though the match questions are fun), but it has a lot to do with my own weirdness. :P
Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 05-08-2013 at 08:49 AM.
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Old 05-08-2013, 08:42 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 838

I had the same negative experience, people not reading the profile, too much wasted time reading moronic messages by blokes asking about my tits and 'so, u up 4 a shag?'

I live in a big city with a decent Poly population also, so it is not location I just think many Poly women have worst experiences on OKC than genuine Poly men, because only genuine Poly women contact those men but any old asshat will contact us looking for casual hook ups.
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Old 05-08-2013, 10:32 AM
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leelee22 leelee22 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Great white north
Posts: 43

There seem to be quite a few men who identify as poly on OKC in my area... but for the most part they are not looking for real relationships, just casual sex in addition to the poly relationships they already have.

I just joined the site in the last few days, and have been bombarded with loads of messages from very young men (in their 20s, and I'm 44!), even though I have a fairly polite note in my profile saying I'm not interested in men that age.

So, so far, jury's out.
Leelee, all alone.
OKC profile
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Old 05-08-2013, 09:18 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 739

I've been on OKC for quite a while (well over a year). I have met one person from the site. He was pretty awesome, but we never made it past casually dating due to some issues his primary partner was having at the time.

Everyone else has been either incredibly shallow/totally ignorant about poly, in a different country, or generally uninteresting to me.

I keep my profile, but I rarely check it these days. I know quite a few people who have had great luck, though, and my area has a fairly large poly population that uses OKC like crazy.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:32 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,414

It seems I'm the odd one out.

I'm currently involved with three guys I met through OKC and met another few interesting people along the way. I do get the occasional troll, but my profile is blunt enough that most of them don't bother trying. My profile pic is of me wearing a full-face motorcycle helmet, which makes generic "You're so hot!!!" messages more funny than annoying.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:43 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

I met my FWB through OKC, and I've been contacted recently by a number of guys who seem interesting, respectful and serious, and who I would certainly consider dating if my polysaturation point wasn't just around the corner
I also met up with some poly guys last summer just for friendly dates to talk poly. I don't see them anymore, but I met a wonderful woman through one of them who is really the only genuine poly woman I know IRL, and we've become good friends.

I've actually considered searching for poly women in my area and to reach out to them to start a support group maybe.. I would love to know more poly people.

I met my other 2 partners on a local poly dating site. So yeah, my experiences with online dating are pretty positive.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:47 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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You're not the odd one out, Emm. I met my current gf (4+ year relationship) on okc 3 weeks after joining.

A few weeks after that I met 2 more guys, one of whom I saw for several months, the other one 2 years. Along the way, I had at least one date with about 30 other men. A few more relationships of several months duration ensued. Not every guy was Mr Wonderful, but I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about dating, sex, kink, life and myself (my needs, desires, preferences) from each one.

And yes, over the years, I had dozens of messages (hundreds probably, but not as many as a much younger women would get) from totally inappropriate men with casual sex the only thing on their mind.

After 2 years of a lot of notice, I had a yearlong drought where I was less active, less sought after, or disappointed over and over again. Then I met Ginger.... We've been together since January 2012.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:56 AM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Location: NW England
Posts: 113

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Along the way, I had at least one date with about 30 other men.
Sounds like a fun date
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