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Old 05-08-2013, 12:14 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Will you tell her more of the situation, do you think? Otherwise it may be hard to reassure her that she's not at fault here.
I think we might have to tell her a little bit more to ease her mind. With the little we told her, it made her ask more questions. She wants to know why daddy is mad at Si and not being nice to her any more? (He did not answer.) She asked us if we loved Si. I know Matt wanted to say something that probably would not have been too nice or flattering, but he just said, "God says we have to love everyone."

Apparently, her idea of family includes five of us that are part of the core because we are the people who see her the most and on a daily basis. We found this out when we asked her who she wanted to move with her. Her little brother, Matt, Nanny J, Si, and myself. Even though Si does not live with us, she is part of my daughter's core family, and everyone but Si is moving with her family. She does not understand that and does not like it. One of her questions broke my heart. She looked at me and asked in her innocent, childlike way, "If she loves us, why doesn't she want to come with us? She promised that she was coming." With that, she went to sleep. She thinks Si is now a "promise breaker," and that she is part of the reason why she does not want to move.

We are going to try to talk to her again today. After she went to bed, we were trying to figure out ways to make the explanation and turn of events child-friendly and think of questions that she may ask, so we could have the answers in our minds. She needs time to process this for sure. I know she is disappointed and sad. One way or the other, we will figure something out.
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anger management, bisexual female, blame, break-ups, breaking up, changing loyalties, children, co-parenting, competition, coupledom, demanding partners, divorce, forgiveness, from poly to mono, healing, making excuses, married and polyamorous, poly co-parenting, poly to mono, primary/secondary, therapy, triad fallout, trust, vee dynamics, vee vs. triad

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