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  #1641  
Old 05-07-2013, 05:28 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I ended my relationships with Derby and Brad this week. The extent of Mono's actions have been revealed as he starts considering dating. He was with a woman from LBs school. LB and his gf are considering monogamy and I am unable to carry on balancing four relationships right now. I am concentrating on home and me instead. I am completely unsure if concentrating on my relationship with Mono is the best plan. Time will tell. I could very well end up facing my biggest fear. That of being alone.
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Last edited by redpepper; 05-07-2013 at 05:31 AM.
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  #1642  
Old 05-07-2013, 05:42 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I ended my relationships with Derby and Brad this week. The extent of Mono's actions have been revealed as he starts considering dating. He was with a woman from LBs school. LB and his gf are considering monogamy and I am unable to carry on balancing four relationships right now. I am concentrating on home and me instead. I am completely unsure if concentrating on my relationship with Mono is the best plan. Time will tell. I could very well end up facing my biggest fear. That of being alone.


What what, huh? Isn't "LB" your abbreviated nickname for your son?
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  #1643  
Old 05-07-2013, 06:27 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I ended my relationships with Derby and Brad this week. The extent of Mono's actions have been revealed as he starts considering dating. He was with a woman from LBs school. LB and his gf are considering monogamy and I am unable to carry on balancing four relationships right now. I am concentrating on home and me instead. I am completely unsure if concentrating on my relationship with Mono is the best plan. Time will tell. I could very well end up facing my biggest fear. That of being alone.
Did you mean your husband and not your son?
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  #1644  
Old 05-07-2013, 06:37 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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RP, I don't understand - your last post is a little confusing.

Why did you feel it necessary to break up with Derby, whom you've been with and loved for a long time, and Brad, whose company you seem truly enjoy? Was that a reaction to Mono embracing polyamory now? Do you feel like if you focus more on Mono, he might not "stray" and pursue anyone else? Are you strategizing to reach an outcome you would be happier with? You want him to stay monogamous to you? How did Brad and Derby take it?

I wonder if you're scrambling out of feeling a bit desperate for things to be the way they once were - and familiar. You know, nothing will ever be the same, hon. Also, why do you say you'd be alone if you have PN? It sounds like you're really upset - or did you mean to write that PN and his gf are thinking about monogamy?
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  #1645  
Old 05-07-2013, 03:08 PM
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FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I ended my relationships with Derby and Brad this week. The extent of Mono's actions have been revealed as he starts considering dating. He was with a woman from LBs school. LB and his gf are considering monogamy and I am unable to carry on balancing four relationships right now. I am concentrating on home and me instead. I am completely unsure if concentrating on my relationship with Mono is the best plan. Time will tell. I could very well end up facing my biggest fear. That of being alone.
Well, that was unexpected.

Do you mean that Mono was with a woman from your son's school, and you just found out about it? (I am assuming you also meant another one of your loves and his girlfriend are considering being mono.)

Balancing four relationships, parenting, and a full-time career has to wear you out. It seems like you still have some years until your child is out of the house. The older he gets the more independent he will be, but that would have still left four relationships.

Are you having a hard time adjusting to Mono exploring poly and being ethically non-mono as opposed to straying? It sounds like you are struggling and having a hard time with more than one thing. I am sorry for that, and I do hope it gets better. Sending you hugs.
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  #1646  
Old 05-07-2013, 04:58 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Oh RP, you sound so sad. I don't know what it's like to have 4 relationships but I do know what it's like to suddenly have a stable life just dissolve. Sending you well wishes and strength. You will survive, and eventually thrive, even if you are on your own.
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  #1647  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:05 PM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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I hope that you're feeling okay just now.

Reading your blog tells me that you are a strong woman and I don't think you have much to fear from the possibility of ending up alone - I think you would be fine if that happened.

I do feel sad that you have broken up with Brad and Derby. You have written so often about the love and support that they provide you - Derby in particular has been mentioned frequently as a source of support and kindness to you. It sounds like you need love and support in your life more than ever and I'm saddened that you feel unable to continue in relationships that were providing so much of those things.

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  #1648  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:17 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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For the record. I will still be a source of support for RP. There have been changes in the way our relationship is defined and there will be a period or readjustment as we figure that out. It's been a rollercoaster few weeks and the dust hasn't settled yet. RP is a part of my world and one of my closest friends and I don't see that changing.
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  #1649  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeystyle View Post
Did you mean your husband and not your son?
yes. Sorry. PN.
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  #1650  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:22 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Quote:
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For the record. I will still be a source of support for RP.
That's very good to read.

I hope that the transition you are going through is an easy one.
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