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Old 05-06-2013, 12:15 PM
PapaRhino PapaRhino is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 18
Default Poly since the start of the year, looking for situation advice.

I'm a 20 year old male, I have a 41 year old fiance. We've been together for about a year now and I proposed to her around Christmas time. We both love each other very, very much and wish to spend years and years and years together.

I moved in with her from Michigan to New York last October, a short while after she broke up with her 15 year long relationship partner, a now 61 year old man. A few weeks after I had proposed, she told me she needed him in the picture. So I agreed to this, she now sees him at his home 3~ times a week, and stays overnight with him once a week. I live in her home that we maintain together, and I work for her business and clean around the house to do my part.

This worked out fine and I was content with it for quite some time, for the past 4 1/2 months even. Until I was approached by a new prospective relationship partner over the past few weeks, having known her about a month and a half now.

This new partner of mine is 19, and shares many more hobbies than my fiance and I do, but they are both amazing people and hold equal footing in my heart I believe. I love my fiance's business and her elegant, distinguished and classical outlook on the world, she has an amazing opera voice and seeing her perform is a thing of dreams.

The new girl, shares my interests in video games, trading card games, skateboarding, longboarding, punk rock and metal concerts, and the more down and dirty things in life, and also expresses a much kinkier interest when it comes to sex.

I've talked about the new partner with my fiance and they both agree that they're fine with the situation. My problem is, this new partner is going to be potentially leaving out of state for college in three years. I haven't begun my college education at this point in my life and it isn't something I would miss for anyone, even my fiance, so I have plans to enroll next Spring after I learn to drive and receive my license and buy my first car of course.

My dilemma is..my fiance wants to push our marriage date forward, to next year. I proposed to her in a monogamous situation, and it was for commitment purposes. Things got shook up because of the old man coming back into the picture, of course, and are even more shaken up by the entrance of my new partner.

What are my options? Do I leave my fiance's home next Spring and live off-campus and go to school with my new partner and continue to grow myself, instead of enjoying someone else's accomplishments? I need to be in a safe position if either relationship were to fail, I don't want to be homeless of course.

I hope this is an acceptable first post here at Polyamory.com. Thank you and I look forward to discussing my relationship with you.
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