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Old 05-03-2013, 09:16 AM
Kernow Kernow is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 43
Default Surprised to find myself here

I will try to keep my introduction as brief as possible. I live in England with my husband B, he is 41 and I am 51 and we have 6 children between us (teens - twenties). We have been married for 8 years (my first husband died). It began as just a 'normal' marriage, but after a couple of years something wasn't quite right. I eventually found out that my husband had a part of his life that he'd kept hidden from me including another partner. It was a shock of course, but I took my time to think things through and I realised that I had reacted badly when he'd tried to explain his needs to me, so he had hidden it instead.

After a lot of thought I decided to accept and accommodate his need for another partner. From that point we agreed that there would be absolute honesty even if that it uncomfortable at times. C is 45, bisexual and not in any other relationship, she lives about an hour away. I thought that C and I would just have a distant but friendly connection but it hasn't worked out like that. We get on very well and we quickly became best friends, sharing a man made us closer and more open than most ordinary friendships. So almost from the beginning it was a bit more than a V. C and I talk almost daily and we spent time together as often as we can, B spends time with C as often as he wants to, but he spends most of his time with me. The three of us spend time together too and over the last 3 years it has gradually developed into a sexual relationship between the three of us - a situation that we are all happy with.

We have had surprisingly few problems with jealousy. The biggest problem has been the need for secrecy as we would all like to be more open about our relationship. C is open about us with her friends, she has also told her parents and after initial concerns they are now supportive. She is unable to tell other family members due to their religious beliefs. B is open about some aspects of it with his friends and a couple of his friends know everything, but his family don't know. My parents are frail, I think they would be supportive but it would worry them so it doesn't seem fair to tell them so my family know about C but only as my friend.

It has been a steep learning curve for me and I am still surprised but happy to find myself in this situation. I have joined this group because I feel a need to be open and to talk about our relationship but in my ordinary life that isn't possible.
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