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  #71  
Old 05-02-2013, 05:15 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Take half of what's in the bank and go. Take a stance instead of waiting for all decisions to be made by him. Gotta find your personal sense of power sooner or later, so let it be sooner... as in now.
Or instead of all the decisions being made by the court and waiting weeks or months or years for resolution.
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  #72  
Old 05-02-2013, 05:42 PM
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nancyfore nancyfore is offline
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I am at a loss as to why you want to continue to be married to someone who might say he loves you and yet goes out of his way to show you otherwise.

He agreed to alot of things regarding open marriage and didn't stick with those rules either. So what makes you think he will "obey" any rules when it comes to losing you and his kids and possessions? (divorce)

You owe it to your children to make sure they have security and putting your head in the sand thinking he will stay and life will be wonderful or divorce will be easy is just not facing reality. Your marriage does not sound as good as you might think it is if this is his behavior.

I have an ex husband that "agreed" to be cordial in case of divorce. We didn't even step foot in a court room. BUT as soon as those papers were final he did everything, and continues to do everything he can to be hurtful.

I of course don't know your husband, you do. He has shown you that he can be hurtful (by asking you to go to his wedding), he has shown you can be manipulative (he can see you even if a divorce were to happen due to the kids, he will just walk away from both, so that you both call and swoon all over him). You had to MAKE him stay (though not sure how or why).

Why would you not let him go? if even for a little bit of time. Just to spend some time thinking about yourself. Why are you letting him hurt you? Why are you not demanding him to leave if he is only going to treat you badly? You might need a little time for some personal introspection.
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  #73  
Old 05-02-2013, 06:23 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by NutBusterX View Post
*sigh* I remember it.


I just want to emphasize the words, "mostly females." This is an accurate statement, but on occasion it happens to males as well.

The phrase i like to use is, "Everybody fucks a frog from time to time"


Do enjoy your day


Absolutely emphasize "mostly". I said it that way because recently a few friends of mine had this happen, these friends of mine all are female. In no way was that supposed to be some kind of sexist generalization. Unfortunately, so much sexist generalization happens in the world, it's one of the first assumptions people make about things other people say. Another reason i qualified that statement is because i think i've observed that men hide their crazy better than women do... If that be so, then perhaps it's because of men being conditioned to not express emotion ? Then one day they just reach their threshold?

???

Anyway. One of my friends thought she had the perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect children, perfect goat farm, etc. then one day her prince charming beat her up and she escaped with the kids to a women's shelter. She refused to press charges and he got a lawyer, full custody, she pays HIM child support (which is fair for the noncustodial parent to do but WAIT there's more), and he has SITTERS watching the kids even when their mother is available and willing. This is an extreme case, i am not telling the entire story because it's not relevant. What IS relevant is that you can think you know someone and be able to predict exactly what they will do in a given situation, but you can never know for sure, and people find this out the hard way all the time.
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  #74  
Old 05-02-2013, 07:01 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
.... What IS relevant is that you can think you know someone and be able to predict exactly what they will do in a given situation, but you can never know for sure, and people find this out the hard way all the time.
We are in complete agreement on this.

For the record, I didn't have it anywhere in my mind that you had made a sexist statement. Shitty treatment is shitty treatment, regardless of how the chromosomes are arranged.
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