So glad to hear that it gave you some focus areallyniceperson. I feel like there is a great framework for discussion around some pretty common problems. I was re-reading it last night and already want to make some amendments/condense it a little.
Annabel: I too like the idea of a little how to manual for taking care of a romantic partner, but in some ways, I feel like those secrets to my heart and happiness are something that unfold over time with the right people. I agree that it needs a different name too, but do feel that it draws attention to a set of problematic patterns in poly. Not sure what to call it - ideas?
BG: Glad that you approve of someone finding a post helpful; nice of you to recognize that something that isn't helpful for you might be of use to others, especially couples new to opening up - what I was intended to be a great point of discussion and evoke thought for 'both sides' of the equation of primaries/secondaries. It's awesome to see you being supportive!