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Old 04-29-2013, 04:09 PM
Malfunktions's Avatar
Malfunktions Malfunktions is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 203
Default Revisiting the flake question.

In an earlier post I asked if being a flake has a detriment to poly. I must admit I'm still curious. I feel like I'm an island and I'm out there floating in the ocean. Visitors come and go, really dedicated tourists stay awhile, my SO to be exact.
But have I offered them the same? I gave them a place to visit and enjoy themselves, food cause I love to cook, and emotional support cause they need it.

But have I offered them anything more than that?

I am a flake. People think its great being a head in the clouds kinda person, not a care in the world to get me down. Yeah, sure no cares. Except for the fact that I'm starting to feel like I don't form personal relationships normally. I love C, I do, he provides well, treats me well, but I'm doomed to regard everything with a passing glance. I am reliable, I'm there for my friends but I do create myself according to every individual I meet. I think that's my biggest fault. My submissiveness and want to be regarded as a cool person drives me to be 50 different people. Someone different in front of everyone.

Here's some definitions:

Flakes are defined as such:

Wikipedia: Slang for a person who socializes on a glib, superficial level who often feigns an interest in a subject in an attempt to seek social approval.

Cambridge Online Dictionaries: a person who you cannot trust to remember things or to do what they say they will do, or someone who behaves in a strange way

I don't think I can stress it enough. I am reliable, I am there for my friends but the whole feigning interest thing? Happens to be the name of my game. I'm not passionate about anything anymore! I don't, honestly, know if I ever was...

Been seeing a girl for coffee and make outs lately. Texting like mad.
C is curious just cause he likes to see me happy.

I'm still curious if I'm offering myself or what my subconscious thinks they want.
It's just me, my ramblings and the elevator music in my head.

OKC Profile

Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
BC: our son, 5 years
CM: second son 9 months.
Mouse: girlfriend! Status new, feelings not so much.
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