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  #11  
Old 04-27-2013, 12:23 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I would have to say no, it isn't just a girl thing. My boyfriend had some serious NRE with me as well. He would touch me every chance he got (when no one was looking ofcourse since we were in the closet at the time) and actually asked if he was still allowed to hug me after we started dating. He would comment on how he was in "withdrawl" from me and needed Neecy methadone. We are LARPers and he would make reference to tearing up blue tickets in his head (spending Willpower) or locking his desire in a cage to get through the time when he was with me and we had to pretend to be just friends.
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  #12  
Old 04-27-2013, 01:24 PM
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I'm a guy and I can't speak for others, but I tend to go head over heels at the beginning of a relationship. It's quite a departure from my normal emotional state.
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  #13  
Old 04-27-2013, 03:38 PM
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I think it's person by person. I typically don't get NRE but then again I haven't met anyone in nearly 5 years that I really liked.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:42 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Default What exactly is NRE, actually?

There seems to be two interpretations of NRE going on here.

The one I ususally associate with poly is "I just met someone new and I'm head over heels, and I'm neglecting my existing partner(s) because this new person is so new and exciting!"

But some people seem to be interpreting it as "I just met someone new and I can't stop thinking about them and I'm really excited," which doesn't necessarily mean you're neglecting your existing partners.

I think I always assumed people meant the "neglect" version of it when they talk about "controlling NRE" etc. Because if you're not letting the rest of your life go to crap, what's wrong with getting really excited about someone new? Why should that need to be controlled?
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  #15  
Old 04-28-2013, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post

The one I ususally associate with poly is "I just met someone new and I'm head over heels, and I'm neglecting my existing partner(s) because this new person is so new and exciting!"
I call that the New Shiny Syndrome To me, it's the shadow side of NRE.


In my relationships, NRE has been experienced in equal measure by both sexes.We admit we are addicted to each other, laugh about it, try not to let it rule the roost, and bitch to each other when we are frustrated.For me, It isn't just something that occurs once at the beginning of a new relationship, either. It can re-occur with changes in relationship dynamics.I see my lover with different eyes and I'm smitten all over again.
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  #16  
Old 04-28-2013, 06:17 PM
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"Because if you're not letting the rest of your life go to crap, what's wrong with getting really excited about someone new? Why should that need to be controlled?"

Because of this, agh: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44916

Woe is meeeeeeee.
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  #17  
Old 04-29-2013, 01:58 PM
Phlox Phlox is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
"Because if you're not letting the rest of your life go to crap, what's wrong with getting really excited about someone new? Why should that need to be controlled?"

Because of this, agh: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44916

Woe is meeeeeeee.
I couldn't finish posting yesterday because I had to go to work. I can commiserate with you.I am in a v with a man who has a heterosexual monogamous wife. We keep our relationship discreet, out of respect for his wife, and because in our community being open about it could very well cost us our employment, so our intimate time together is limited to one day a week and an occasional overnight on weekends at this point, as I currently have roommates.To make matters worse, at this point he is my only partner (I am searching for a woman, but haven't found the right one yet), and I am a person who is used to and enjoys frequent sex, touch, and other acts of affection.

We recently went on a trip together with his wife. It was the best and worst time for us-being able to spend so much time together, but not being able to make intimate contact.Due to circumstances, we ended up not having sex for three weeks, and we were both pretty miserable.

On the trip,he really went out of his way to check in with me and his wife to make sure we were both doing okay.He seemed to be able to sense when I was having a very tough time at times (it's hard work to act like you are a casual friend in the presence of someone you love very much), and would find a moment and a private place to give me a hug and kiss and a few intimate words to reconnect.He did the same with his wife, which was awesome, as we both want her to know that I am not a threat to their relationship.

When we got back and life got crazy to the point we couldn't meet for our day, he texted me a lot and invited me to have lunch with him.He keeps assuring me he is in it for the long run, and that this situation is only temporary until I finish school and can get a place of my own.

Sometimes I miss him so much it physically hurts. It's not just the sex I miss-it's the emotional connection, the conversation,the feel of him, his smell,sleeping next to his warm body and waking up with him in the morning...I'm sure you understand.There have been times when I can't sleep for missing him.

Sometimes I wonder what ever posses me to be poly, lol, but I know that despite the difficulties, it's how I'm wired. My marriage ended because I finally realized I was the only one denying my bi poly nature. My ex had recognized it and demonized it (while hypocritically being a non monogamous cheater himself, and using my admission of my bi nature that I had never acted on as his excuse to cheat).My lover recognized it and encouraged me to embrace it,even though he admits sometimes the idea of me finding my other partner scares him, because he is afraid I will go away.

As if I could, lol. I didn't go looking for this guy, the Universe brought him to me.We have so many things in common it's scary. Yet we have enough differences to make life interesting.It's hard and frustrating at times loving him (I clean when I am frustrated, and my house is VERY CLEAN, lol), but I just can't NOT have him in my life, so I live for and cherish the moments.

Lol-and I have had phone sex for the first time in my life
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  #18  
Old 04-29-2013, 02:40 PM
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I definitely get NRE, but then I'm also accused of being the girl in the relationships
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