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  #11  
Old 04-23-2013, 03:03 AM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 299
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I am the hinge in a V and the funny thing is I only get frustrated a bit with the 'closet' issue and only with BF. DH and I are pretty much out, as far as kids and my side of the family. We don't really interact with his side much as he has lost most of his family through the years. He's not out at work but work is sensitive and he doesn't really socialize there or with anyone there so it's not a huge deal for me.

My BF however feels uncomfortable with being out. There's the fact that he's younger than I, that his family is super religious and the long distance thing. So mostly it isn't an issue for me, though when I went for a visit an emergency had me staying with his family nearly a week and playing that we were just mutual friends was not a lot of fun. Especially as it was a stressful time anyway and so there was no way to really get that hug or anything I might have needed. Still, I respect his decision and totally understand it, especially with him working on joining the military soon. It is frustrating though, and I do worry from time to time about an errant text message being seen or something of that nature.
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Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year
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  #12  
Old 04-23-2013, 04:12 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default Your own primary?

This may be a ridiculous question, but have you considered having another partner who could bring you those experiences? It must be hard to have those feelings, and difficult for BF to not be able to give you what you want for fear of what ramifications it will have on his life; why not have those experiences with a partner who doesn't have the same obligations and limitations that he does? Just a thought, and might be way off base.... I just figure that the beauty of poly is that no one person is responsible for giving you all of the experiences that you want to have.
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  #13  
Old 04-23-2013, 05:05 PM
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BelleInconnue BelleInconnue is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: East Coast, USA
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Hi Baggage,
Yes, I am open to others but have no desire for that right now. We have really good communication and have discussed the possibility of being able to both see other people if we so desire in the future. I do have quite a busy life anyway with my career and other activities so I don't expect to spend every day with him. I think I was just having an "off" day the other day as I feel good again now. Thank you all for the support--it's so nice to find a community of like-minded individuals, or if not completely like-minded (since polyamory has many different styles), at least a place of understanding and acceptance!
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