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  #311  
Old 04-19-2013, 03:21 AM
KerrBear KerrBear is offline
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Originally Posted by turtleHeart View Post
Not so much casual sex as casual cuddling/make outs. Soft swinging could fit as a term, but for me it simply means I have friends I'm very affectionate with but am not trying to develop much beyond friendship with. I have two partners I have sex with but still enjoy kissing/curling up with others, just not getting into the complications of going beyond that usually. I could actually be quite happy simply focusing solely on my wife sexually, but it's nice being able to interact with so many others.
Hmm, now that you mention it, cuddling and kissing is very nice. Especially with someone new. Unfortunately for me, I may lose control and do something I would later regret in those situations so I would try to steer clear of them.
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Me: Late 20's "hinge" to a V. New to Poly but previous swinger for roughly 4 years. Married since 2008 but together since 2007.

Husband: Mid 30's. Maybe Poly but not monogamous. Swinger.

Beaner: My recent ex and my first poly relationship.
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  #312  
Old 04-19-2013, 06:36 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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My husband and I were swingers first, and still swing on occasion. One of the guys I am dating is interested in trying it out with me, as well, and the other swings with his primary partner. My girlfriend is unsure how she feels towards it, and it quite honestly may spell the end of our relationship.

I think it's exhilarating. Sometimes just going out and completely letting go (okay, not completely since I still have rules/boundaries) is exactly what I crave. Watching my partner with someone else is very exciting to me.
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  #313  
Old 04-21-2013, 09:53 PM
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jones jones is offline
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Originally Posted by KerrBear View Post
How many of you have been or are swingers? Were you swingers before you became poly? Or did you try swinging after you discovered you were a poly person?

If you're in a successful poly relationship, do you still have desires to have casual, no strings sex with others? Or do you keep yourself now to only your poly partners?

I'm finding that I'm not really interested in sexual relationships outside of my husband and my boyfriend. It might be NRE, but I know that when I had NRE with my husband, I was still sexually drawn to other men. Now that I have two people I love, I feel completed and have no real interest in sex with other people. Was wondering if other people have experienced this as well. . .
I was a swinger for 10 months till I fell in love with A and I decided I didn't want to swing anymore, we met through a swinger's site and I am keeping myself for him, I have no interest in swinging ever again as well.
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  #314  
Old 04-21-2013, 11:42 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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I have no desire for sex at all - casual or otherwise.
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  #315  
Old 04-22-2013, 12:47 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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How many of you have been or are swingers?

I have never been nor will I ever be a swinger.

Were you swingers before you became poly?

No, My husband is the one who got it through my thick head that I was poly. Before him I had the habit of flitting from one relationship to another looking for that elusive perfect man.

Or did you try swinging after you discovered you were a poly person?

No.

If you're in a successful poly relationship, do you still have desires to have casual, no strings sex with others?

Never I found the man who has the traits I was searching for. Funny thing is he and my husband have some of the same qualities. But yet they are very different.

Or do you keep yourself now to only your poly partners?

I am faithful to my husband and my boyfriend. I have no urge to pursue anyone else.
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Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #316  
Old 04-22-2013, 01:04 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
I have no desire for sex at all - casual or otherwise.
Same here. That said, I'm okay with having sex in a loving relationship. But any kind of casual sex is totally out of the question.

My husband is a heterosexual with a raging libido but no desire for casual sex whatsoever either.
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  #317  
Old 04-22-2013, 01:35 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I don't consider myself a swinger although I have partner swapped. I am not into totally anonymous sex. I have to know someone at least a little. But I am in an open relationship and have a friends with benefits connection with someone. So yes I like and want casual sex in addition to my relationship. But I think lots of people are poly and not be into casual sex.
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  #318  
Old 04-22-2013, 01:49 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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None of us have ever been swingers.

I do enjoy casual sex in a FWB type of fashion. No real interest in pursuing sex with strangers - although I wouldn't rule out a one night stand with someone that I really connected with over the course of an evening.

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #319  
Old 04-22-2013, 04:35 AM
KerrBear KerrBear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jones View Post
I was a swinger for 10 months till I fell in love with A and I decided I didn't want to swing anymore, we met through a swinger's site and I am keeping myself for him, I have no interest in swinging ever again as well.
I don't know if it's a temporary feeling, but the thought of swinging makes me feel cheapened while before it made me feel like I was having a good time. Perhaps it's a side effect of NRE? No sure. Thanks for the reply
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Me: Late 20's "hinge" to a V. New to Poly but previous swinger for roughly 4 years. Married since 2008 but together since 2007.

Husband: Mid 30's. Maybe Poly but not monogamous. Swinger.

Beaner: My recent ex and my first poly relationship.
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  #320  
Old 04-22-2013, 04:45 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I had casual encounters before I married or knew of poly. But I can't get off in that dynamic. So-no desire to repeat.
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