Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 04-18-2013, 09:03 PM
willowstar willowstar is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 122
Default Feeling like being poly is just selfish

Hi folks. I posted a few weeks ago about my husband having trouble accepting a new poly relationship I am currently involved in. We are still struggling with this, it has been 3 1/2 months of lots of conversations, snuggling, tears, and heartache.

I am feeling disheartened about poly in general. I am feeling very selfish for being poly in the first place, and for wanting other loves in my life when it is causing him so much angst. He is an amazing man, I have loved him dearly for over 17 years, we have three beautiful children together, and he has given of himself over and over so that I could pursue my dream job of being a midwife. I absolutely hate that my wish for a poly life is hurting him. After many years of talking about poly and attempts at making it work, he may just be mono after all and we don't know what to do about this.

My other love is my best friend. He knows me like no other. He accepts me unconditionally, has loved me since we were very young (we met before high school and grew up in the same town). We have been exploring this relationship since we saw each other a few months ago at a dinner party, and we realized we were still in love from all those years ago. I cannot imagine being without him in my life.

I am just looking for some words of encouragement and maybe some support around being poly in the first place. We are all feeling at a loss about what to do right now.

Thank you all for being here.
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming... ~ Dori

Willow ~ 47yo bi poly woman, married to Bear for 20 years
Bear-59 yo maybe poly/maybe mono straight man, still feeling it out
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:29 PM.