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  #11  
Old 04-13-2013, 01:04 PM
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jillybeane jillybeane is offline
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Ah, I see what you mean. I've always been torn on whether thoughtlessness is worse than malice, also.
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  #12  
Old 04-13-2013, 01:25 PM
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Am I correct in understanding that you felt the only way you and Lia could pursue your attrractions to each other and have a relationship was if both your husbands were involved sexually as well? If that's the case, I think that was probably your biggest mistake. There would have been much less emotional fallout if you and Lia had simply explored whatever potential was there independently instead of trying to make a quad situation out of it. Was it just expected that Lia should love your husband just because you had the hots for her and she was having sex with him? Rather unrealistic to have set it up that way. I hope you all have learned from this!
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  #13  
Old 04-14-2013, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Am I correct in understanding that you felt the only way you and Lia could pursue your attrractions to each other and have a relationship was if both your husbands were involved sexually as well?
You aren't.

There was mutual attraction (but at the time no emotional attachment) between Bob and I, and Choctaw was as attracted to Lia as I was. We thought a quad situation would work out because Lia *said* she was attracted to Choctaw. There was no expectation that emotional bonds would develop, but they did between Bob and I, and Choctaw did fall in love with Lia.

I guess it just didn't occur to any of us that she wasn't being honest, for whatever reason. I could speculate about her motives all day, but she's the only one with the answers, and she's not talking about them. We've remained friends, but the whole failed relationship is a yanked tooth we manage to avoid painful probing at. Should we probe? Maybe, but it feels pointless at this juncture.

What I do know is, if she didn't love him she had no business saying she did.
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  #14  
Old 04-15-2013, 12:04 AM
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Well it doesn't sound to me like you guys did anything wrong really. As for Lia, some things about that may remain a mystery.
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