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Old 04-13-2013, 01:59 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,671

Why can he have his cake and eat it too? Yet you would not be allowed to do the same. That is selfish on his part.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
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Old 04-13-2013, 02:33 PM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 48

That is just the way our relationship is. I have no need or want to be with anyone else. I am bi and think another woman would add to our relationship. There was a time where he offered for me to have my cake and eat it to but I am quite satified with the cake that I have. He is more of the floater, the one who likes to wonder. I have taken on the roll of just pleasing him.
Im sure it does not make sence to most people but thats just the way we are.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:41 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Can I just say, from an outside perspective, a poly bi woman, just from what you posted here, this is what I see:

"We are a committed, long term couple looking for a woman that will be interested in dating both of us, romantically involved with the husband, perhaps the wife, be home for the wife when the husband is traveling, home with the husband when the wife is traveling, and add to our marriage."

My first reaction is, "Get a dog". Think about what the third person gets out of this arrangement. Also, being in love with hubby is not enough. You've thought about how warm and cozy she will fit into your life, but again, almost like you would a pet. What do you offer her? If the answer is only a stable home, a roof over her head, companionship, then it's not enough. Start substituting a puppy for the girl and if the only thing that is different is sex, you have much more to figure out and work on.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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