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Old 04-09-2013, 04:15 PM
Manifestiny Manifestiny is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 21

Thank you for your support Vixtoria.

Originally Posted by Vixtoria View Post
Okay I gave this advice to someone else recently. Depression, anxiety, diassociative Disorder, all of those are problems. Admittedly. They CAN have an external source. For example, I was told that my brain chemistry was changed as a child because I was in an unsafe environment emotionally. However, that doesn't mean that now, as an adult, any time I get depressed or things get really hard for me it's someone else's fault.
I hear you. I have a background in mental health...and i have been well aware of depressive symptoms that my wife has displayed throughout our entire relationship. I suspect it has been seeded well before i came along...but it has become more noticeable since our children became little people, and post-partum blues & separation anxiety became activated. I have this feeling deep down that my poly has become, more than anything, a reason for her to stay depressed.

Originally Posted by Vixtoria View Post
No, it's not a reason to forfeit your happiness. Can you support and help her? Sure, if she lets you. If she's willing to work with you. When things get really hard, I'm just not able to function, my instinct is to cocoon. To just hide and be quiet and pull away.
I have been doing everything i can to support her for several years. I am now in a position where i feel that i have tried to support her so much that i have actually forfeited my happiness..and now resentment is starting to build. But at the end of the day...she cannot...or perhaps will not...tell me what she needs. So yes, she does hide herself away...which gives me nothing to work with.

I have certainly tried modifying my language to ensure that she knows that i am here for her. It has gone on for months. As i stated in my original post...how do i know when enough is enough? Do i have to break down? Or get super close to that point? Because i think i'm getting close.

Thank you!
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