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  #141  
Old 04-08-2013, 08:20 PM
northhome northhome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
Group sleeping is overrated in my opinion
Agreed. Two seems simply to work so much better since each one has their side of the bed to get out of when nature calls

Group cuddles on the other hand are splendid but do benefit from a larger space.
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  #142  
Old 04-08-2013, 08:45 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I don't even sleep well with one other person be ause i am a light sleeper and the other people always keep me awake with their snoring and farting. I realize that i snore and fart too but mine never seem to keep other people awake.

Spouse and i have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for years.
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  #143  
Old 04-08-2013, 08:55 PM
BSP83 BSP83 is offline
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When we get a new bed in the next few years, we're going from queen to king. In the meantime, I sleep over at S's on the weekends, and she has a king. That's the only sleeping arrangement we've worked out so far.
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  #144  
Old 04-09-2013, 12:14 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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My boys are both around 6 feet but I am small (5'2") - a king size bed suits us just fine (although we can deal with a queen or even a double if needed). But I think the cuddle-ness factor plays a large role. MrS doesn't like to be crowded when he sleeps while Dude likes to sleep all intertwined. I prefer touching but not all tangled. So it usually ends up that I have my legs intertwined with Dude's but the top half free with a hand or foot just leaning up against MrS.

Another important factor is bedding - MrS and I learned years ago that we each need our own sets (since I am a notorious blanket and pillow hog) - so we generally have 8-9 pillows available and 4-5 different covers of various warmness/weight. So if someone wakes up and is too hot/cold they can fish around for whatever suits (or more pillows or whatever).

I find it interesting that, although I love my middle cuddle position, I am perfectly capable, apparently, of taking up an entire king-size bed BY MYSELF. (The boys also claim that my density increases exponentially in these circumstances...).

Now FOUR in the kingsize bed does present difficulties...under these circumstances MrS insists on an "end" position and that the person next to him is ME (since I have learned over the last 20 years to sleep stretched up against him without either shoving him out of bed or tying us in knots...I'm his barrier against others).

(Dude is the most likely, however, to abandon the bed for the couch...MrS snores and, on occasion, he and I will have a competition as to who can outsnore the other...)

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
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Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 04-09-2013 at 12:33 AM. Reason: random comma error
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  #145  
Old 04-09-2013, 06:00 PM
kkxvlv kkxvlv is offline
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No useful ideas to add if a bigger bed isn't an option but your post did bring back some great group sleep memories. Like the first time my boyfriend tried to stay the whole night in our bed, I woke up so sad that he had left. He insists that he woke up on the very edge of the bed, and right at that moment I kicked him off the rest of the way. One of the most useful bits of poly knowledge I've ever read was the suggestion of multiple covers. It seems so obvious now but I hadn't figured it out on my own. I'm sure the concept is over-rated but I enjoy trying on occasion for the comedy.

How about an air mattress for the odd man out? It's not great but it beats the floor.
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  #146  
Old 07-20-2013, 10:01 AM
Avaofthedark Avaofthedark is offline
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I can definently relate to your post! I am also in a triad and the couple I am dating live in one house with their kids and I live in mine. Were supposed to have equal sleeping time with him but she sleeps wit him mon-fri and my days are sat and sun although he rarely comes to me on my time. I can definently understand your frustration about the situation. I really hope things work out between you three in terms of figuring out a much more fair solution
When you do I may need your advice haha
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  #147  
Old 02-28-2014, 07:24 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
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Default Sleeping arrangement - Question

So, my wife's boyfriend of four years just moved in with us about 2 months ago. Their relationship had been a long distance one for those for years. He would visit 3-4 times a year 2 to 4 weeks at a time....
He and I get along great, so there is no issue there. My wife and I have been together 17 years and of course for those 17 years, have always slept in the same room together.
But back to the original question. How does my wife decide who she will sleep with on any given night. Do poly triads have a system on deciding what nights the "hinge of a V" sleeps in whose room?
Currently, my wife and I share a bedroom and he has a room of his own. I am completely fine with her sleeping in his room on certain nights and in our room on certain nights. Just curious how others have worked it out.
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  #148  
Old 02-28-2014, 08:34 PM
Sandy2u Sandy2u is offline
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We have a schedule. I have 2 nights with her, 2 with him, 2 by myself, and 1 with all of us, on a weekly basis. We would all spend every night together but our kids are still young and seek us out in the middle of the night.
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  #149  
Old 03-01-2014, 12:03 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Honestly you just decide based on respecting everyones needs. My gf doesn't need as much bed time with me, so we try to sleep togeher 2 nights a week. However sometimes, due to travel, colds, etc.. that doesn't work out. Some weeks, rarely, its 3 nights.

Most of the time we wing it, and don't have expectations because life just gets in the way sometimes.
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  #150  
Old 03-01-2014, 12:11 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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We don't have a schedule. I always sleep in the bed (we only have one - it is king-size). The boys are free to join me, or not depending on their desires and schedules. I sleep in the "middle" and they have their own sides. Anyone who doesn't want to be crowded can sleep on the couch.

When Lotus is over, she is free to sleep in the bed as well. We usually end up as MFMF when there are four in the bed. MrS always sleeps on his side and next to me. I kick a lot when I'm sleeping so Lotus uses Dude as a "buffer"...but I think she likes to be in the middle after I get up.

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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