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  #31  
Old 04-06-2013, 11:00 PM
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FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Oh, I know. I appreciate that.

People jumped on the bandwagon of assuming that I was changing my entire state of being to please my husband. Matt was trying to talk me out of this decision, so how does that work? I am not doing anything to fit some BS societal mold. To an outsider looking in, that may seem like the case. I know my heart. I know it better than anyone. That set me off. It implied that I have no brain, and that I let others think for me or dictate how I run my life. It also implies that it was only just for "fun." What a nightmare for Si. (How dare I get tired and grow weary from fighting a losing battle?) How bloody inconsiderate of me. This is how I have been treated from those around me. I am being "shunned" from that angle, too.

I have read time and time again that it is the individual's responsibility to maintain their own happiness. I was not happy. I was losing weight, stressed out, and feeling isolated. I was already feeling bad, and once the guilt kicked in and started mixing with her reluctance to offer support, the negative attitude, and our "relationship" collapsing, change had to come.

I foresee your situation in my near future. I am only with a man now, so I am presumed to be "straight." Uh-oh. I no longer fit the mold of what a bisexual/pansexual individual looks like or how one should behave. I better not attend any pride related events. I would not want to get any dirty looks.
  #32  
Old 04-06-2013, 11:12 PM
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FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I think i owe an explanation about the comment in the other thread about "do you do the same thing at your job" or something to that effect. I said that because i think (and i guess i could be wrong about this, after all i work at Harvard so i should be used to smart people who do stupid things) that someone who is a physician and holds people's lives in their own hands should be able to think critically and clearly in other areas, and one of those areas involves collecting and collating data and using it to arrive at a conclusion (not at a convulsion like i almost just wrote accidentally). I mean, when you read a lab report that doesn't agree with what you thought was wrong with the patient when they first presented, do you wing it and assume the data is just wrong, or do you investigate further and try to figure out what is really going on with the patient?

This is not an analogy to what just took place on this site. This is an explanation of why i think a person with a degree in medicine is too intelligent to invent things that other people didn't say, because they have proven they are by graduating from medical school. Unless they got a degree from some place in Central America. Then all bets are off.

And no, i did not just say "you probably got your medical degree from some third-rate place in Central America." that is not what i said at all.
No worries. That issue has been squared away. I sometimes think too much for my own benefit, and I dissect things in a different way. I read between the lines and interpret things differently than most. That is why I said, "That is what I took from it." It was right because what was the word used to describe the instructions given? Explicit.

I should have been in tune with what the hell was going on when it was happening in my life. I was just not worried about it because it did not fit into my happy bubble of love and life. I did not want to hear it at all. It is like a patient who comes in complaining of x, y, and z and just deciding to forgo all lab work and telling that person, "Oh it is this, and it does not matter what you think it is." What does that do? Leave the door wide open for malpractice. Welcome to my life in this moment. Poly Malpractice. I wish I would have named my blog that.
  #33  
Old 04-07-2013, 12:07 AM
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Geez, what a three-ring circus! This is just an online message board, people!
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  #34  
Old 04-07-2013, 05:54 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Because-the more she's written since your comment-the more I tend to beleive that when she said she wasn't poly it didn't mean "I am no longer poly in my heart" as much as "i am no longer free to do poly" (reasons don't matter for my point).
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Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Thanks for understanding, LR. That was why I wasn't able to understand the difference, because that's exactly how I saw it. Maybe there is too much interpeting going on in my case, but I got the impression of 'work in progress' as well.
Diddo. This whole situation exploded less than a month ago. It's been nothing but turmoil ever since. It's hardly enough time to take someone at face value when they say "Screw this, I'm done with poly." Please. A little bit of experience dealing with people tells you when to just "go on what they say" and when to "use your brain to read between the lines."

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I, for one, am not going to be one of those people who puts poly so high on a pedestal, just because I am, that I cannot accept that others chose their own path and need my compassion and support for as long as they think they need it. In the context of FOL's blog, I think its valid for her to write about whatever she feels is part of her process from poly to mono.
Exactly. If it was 6 months from now and she's started getting over the grieving period of losing her relationship with Si and coming to terms with being basically forced into a mono situation, then maybe MAYBE that's the time for the cold bucket of water.

The slippery slope argument is a falacy for a reason. "I don't know where to reasonably draw the line, so I'm drawing it at step 1" is completely ridiculous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
however if people READ WHAT I WROTE and not what they imagine i must have meant that i didn't write
You've been on this crusade lately, accusing people of putting words into your mouth. And yet you regularly use sarcasm, which is exactly the act of saying one thing and meaning another.

Connect the dots, BG. If "everyone" is interpreting you wrong, maybe it's not them? Maybe, just maybe, you are the one who is not communicating your thoughts clearly enough.

Drop the attitude already.
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  #35  
Old 04-07-2013, 06:08 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
There's also the problem of allowing ongoing blogging about monogamy in one instance and then telling other folks who show up that they can't post discussions of monogamy elsewhere. As we won't support discussion threads solely about monogamy on the other boards, we can't support blogs solely about monogamy.
Please justify your claim that her blog was "solely about monogamy." I believe it's been very well established that this never was the case.

Are you actually worried that allowing this one blog opens a floodgate of monogamous people coming to a polyamory forum to discuss their monogamous relationships? Does that not sound utterly ridiculous to anyone else?

We allow discussions about cats, provided they're on the correct board. By your logic, this opens the doors for people talking about cats on any board. Unsurprisingly, this has not happened, establishing that your fears are unfounded.

Your behaviour comes across as a need to exert control over other members of this board, rather than execution of justified duties as a moderator. That another moderator is in public disagreement with you about the validity of your actions leads me to believe that you were acting outside your prescribed duties.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
  #36  
Old 04-07-2013, 06:18 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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[QUOTE=SchrodingersCat;195351
You've been on this crusade lately, accusing people of putting words into your mouth. And yet you regularly use sarcasm, which is exactly the act of saying one thing and meaning another.

Connect the dots, BG. If "everyone" is interpreting you wrong, maybe it's not them? Maybe, just maybe, you are the one who is not communicating your thoughts clearly enough.

Drop the attitude already.[/QUOTE]

So, you CAN tell when I'm being sarcastic and when I'm not. I knew that already. You're not as dumb as you pretend to be, either. It's easier for a smart person to pretend they're not as smart, than for a dumb person to pretend they're not as dumb. Also, you can't seem to be consistent from one post to another because every word has a different definition every time you use it. So, I don't expect to have a productive discussion with you any time soon. And I'm ok with that.
  #37  
Old 04-07-2013, 06:33 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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I got a question, why was my posting removed. It was # 9. Was it the letter you sent me that could be read by everyone? Or my additional comments ?

Also ....we're all the mods a party to this decision ? Sounds like maybe yes ...maybe no Be honest ....poly is all about honesty.

Did the people participating in this thread get points for argue a mod decision in public ....as stated in my infraction letter. And noted in my post # 9.

Funny how with all the sarcasm flying around I'm the one with the points.

Last edited by dingedheart; 04-07-2013 at 06:40 AM.
  #38  
Old 04-07-2013, 06:45 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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What makes you think you're the only one who ever got points for sarcasm? You're just the only one whining about it in public. Act your age. I'm sure you're over 13.
  #39  
Old 04-07-2013, 06:55 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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This thread is going nowhere fast!
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  #40  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:37 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This thread is going nowhere fast!
Meh. These threads are good for blowing off steam instead of hijacking the real threads. As long as you're not taking it too seriously it can be therapeutic.
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