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  #11  
Old 04-04-2013, 11:16 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSensations View Post
What would my dialogue look like with this man?
I can't answer for you, but my dialogue with this man would look like:

"Make sure the door hits you on the way out."

Just because someone is in a D/s relationship doesn't mean anything goes. Do you have an arrangement that includes him possessing your body? Does skipping foreplay fall into your predefined limits and negotiations?

Putting someone in a vulnerable state and then pressuring them to make agreements is abusive behaviour, D/s or not. The time to make agreements and discuss boundaries is when everyone is fully clothed, on equal footing, and feeling confident and free to speak their mind... not when you're wanting gratification and you'll say anything to get it. Agreements made under duress don't hold any weight in court, and they sure as shit don't hold any weight in any relationships I'd participate in.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 04-04-2013 at 11:23 PM.
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  #12  
Old 04-04-2013, 11:48 PM
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SweetSensations SweetSensations is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I would ask him if that was just sex play for the bedroom or if he actually really expects you to be "only his" for 24/7. In reality, you only belong to you, and if you want other partners, his idea that you belong to him is farfetched and a misplaced demand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
This is how it sounds to me, if things aren't right let me know.
That is not a healthy relationship. My recommendation would be meet with him somewhere where you know you wouldn't be getting back in bed, like a coffee house, and explain to him that you agreed only because of where he put you and that is not a relationship dynamic you agree to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
You asked how a dialogue with this man might look:

You: I want to talk about what happened when we had sex the other day. It seems to me like you were using that encounter to tell me that you wanted to be my only lover. Is that, in fact, what you want?
Him: Yes/maybe.
You: Ok. I hear you and I respect you, but that's not what I want. In the moment, I said yes to the idea of being just yours, because, as you pointed out, I was in a very vulnerable state. However, you deserve to know that I don't intend to hold to that. I prefer to make decisions rationally, like this, not in the heat of the moment, so if you want to make decisions about our relationship together in the future please talk to me like this. I'm going to have other lovers if it feels right, because that's what I think is best for me, and I would encourage you to do the same. Knowing that, do you still want to continue our relationship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I can't answer for you, but my dialogue with this man would look like:

Just because someone is in a D/s relationship doesn't mean anything goes. Do you have an arrangement that includes him possessing your body? Does skipping foreplay fall into your predefined limits and negotiations?

Putting someone in a vulnerable state and then pressuring them to make agreements is abusive behaviour, D/s or not. The time to make agreements and discuss boundaries is when everyone is fully clothed, on equal footing, and feeling confident and free to speak their mind... not when you're wanting gratification and you'll say anything to get it.
I liked each of what you contributed and I will take steps to empower myself.
I edited their comments to the most important pieces of them. Please read their entire comments.

I will use the exact dialogue and am very grateful to your responses and thank you for taking the time to respond.
I will report back next Wed. with an update. Thanks again.
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  #13  
Old 04-05-2013, 12:32 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Thank you for letting us know when to expect an update.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #14  
Old 04-06-2013, 12:37 AM
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nancyfore nancyfore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I can't answer for you, but my dialogue with this man would look like:

"Make sure the door hits you on the way out."

Just because someone is in a D/s relationship doesn't mean anything goes. Do you have an arrangement that includes him possessing your body? Does skipping foreplay fall into your predefined limits and negotiations?

Putting someone in a vulnerable state and then pressuring them to make agreements is abusive behaviour, D/s or not. The time to make agreements and discuss boundaries is when everyone is fully clothed, on equal footing, and feeling confident and free to speak their mind... not when you're wanting gratification and you'll say anything to get it. Agreements made under duress don't hold any weight in court, and they sure as shit don't hold any weight in any relationships I'd participate in.

Totally agree!!!

I read it almost like you were forced into something you weren't comfortable with??? I was alarmed in reading it quite frankly...you should empower yourself most definitely...
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  #15  
Old 04-25-2013, 08:50 PM
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SweetSensations SweetSensations is offline
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Location: El Paso, TX
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Default Update: Letter to sexual mate

He never responded to this letter. When we were making love again he said do I take care of your pussy? I said yes love you do. Thank you for taking care of me it feels good. He just continued and said nothing else. I am guessing if he ignores it, it may go away in his mind.

Here was the finished version of the letter:
"Good night lovey enjoy your weekend. Hope you get time off every weekend ...the whole weekend.
My mentor said at some point I need to talk to you about me going in the direction of two relationships even if my second is only seen every blue moon. I will be mostly exclusive but keep the relationship open to other men. I read this in the forum quote-"growing into a sense of security with each other over time, realizing that the existence of other relationships for each other didn't change how you and I are together or love one another"."
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