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Old 03-23-2013, 01:02 AM
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Kommander Kommander is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Detroit
Posts: 112

If I come here and start "I need help with this" threads, I pretty much need to be told "this is going to end badly."

I generally ask for advice in one of two circumstances:

1: I can't figure out the problem and I might be overlooking something;
2: I have figured out the problem, I don't like the answer I arrived at, and I'm really hoping just this once it's a case of #1.

I am very good at figuring things out. #1 does happen sometimes, but not as often as I'd like. Usually, when #1 does happen and I stop overlooking whatever it was I was overlooking, it becomes #2. Generally, if a problem isn't impossible or at least extremely difficult to solve in a way that I like, I would have solved it already.

If I was smart I would write off dating as something I'm really bad at and give up. However, I figured out pretty early in life that I learn more by being stupid. So, I'm determined to keep trying until I get it right, and then keep trying until I get it right some more.
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:03 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,136

A DOOM! button would be so awesome. Not helpful in the least but awesome.
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:14 AM
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Malfunktions Malfunktions is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 203

I thought so.

Xared, I'm hittin you up when the time comes then cause figuring is not my strength but advice is. Hmm? Coincidence? LOL
It's just me, my ramblings and the elevator music in my head.

OKC Profile

Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
BC: our son, 5 years
CM: second son 9 months.
Mouse: girlfriend! Status new, feelings not so much.
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Old 03-30-2013, 11:19 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
This is a personal rant. I read folks posting about their situations. And frequently, I think to myself, 'Oh, this is going to end badly for all involved.'
I not only feel that way about almost every situation I've read about but *also* about a majority of the responses they get. It looks to me like a situation fully on fire and people handing them lots of tools with which to make sure the fire is incapable of going out lol
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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Old 03-31-2013, 02:17 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 758

Just my personal opinion, but sometimes it's not about fixing that fire but the ones in the future. When I first started here almost 3 years ago our train wrecked before I even knew what was going on. I was given a lot of advice, a lot of tools and a lot of help. Some of it really did help with the situation at hand, some of it couldn't fix the current problem but gave me a new way to look at things and new tools to keep it from happening in the future.

I learned a lot through the help I got on here that not only helps us in our relationships, but day to day stuff too.

So while you may see the train heading for a crash, sometimes it needs to in order to be rebuilt with the new tools and equipment provided.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:19 AM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default Friends, foes, and food for thought.

I always look for postings that resonate with me - where I feel I have a perspective that might help a person feel supported, heard, or empathized with. I shy away from situations where I have no real life experience. I also find myself jumping in when I feel that someone is being badgered or judged by people with lots of opinions, but little in the way of practical experience.

I have a couple of real-life friends who have disastrous relationships. Listening to their issues, I can see the outcome from fifty miles away. Does this stop me from being a caring, compassionate ear to them? A support system when shit does hit the fan? Nope - it's not difficult for me to accept that we're in different places, and be a friend to them just the same. They can see things about me that I can't see, and vice versa.... And once in awhile I am genuinely surprised by how things turn out - a friend who married a man after knowing him for two months now has three children with him, a business, a home, and they are super committed and in love over a decade later. 'Splain me that!

People surprise me constantly. I say if some posts drive you barmy, skip 'em.
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