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Old 04-02-2013, 08:53 PM
franchescasc's Avatar
franchescasc franchescasc is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 123
Default Triads? Advice?

I've posted only a couple of times, but you can find my intro here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40446

So....update Things have been slow going for MD and I. We have spent lots of time together, but without much physical activity, and on a very solid friend basis for the past month. But we were never really alone, and I guess the opportunity just didn't present itself with kids and her mom around most of the time. I definitely felt a difference, and I was really worried something was wrong, even though she assured me she would tell me and told me to stop worrying. So, I took it a day at a time, and stopped trying to read things into our conversations. Sitting with my uncomfortable feelings and not judging them helped me get through them faster.

Well, this past week has been amazing. We have been flirting like crazy, and had a chance to spend time after a work party with together with my hubby FJ. We all had a great time, and it was obvious to me that they were attracted to each other. After lots of talking after that night, MD came over on Saturday and one thing led to another, and the 3 of us played together. It was so amazing Honestly, I was the most comfortable with the whole thing. FJ was nervous, as he has never been with another woman. MD was nervous because she wanted to make sure I was really comfortable with the whole thing. But, minor jitters aside, we had a great time. FJ & MD kissed and touched, and I experienced some serious compersion. Everyone still feels great about it. FJ is quick to say he needs time to hang out and get to know MD better....he's def not a frivolous sex kinda guy. He has to care about someone on a much deeper level. MD enjoyed it too, and has expressed that she wants to do it again, but she wants it to be the 3 of us, not she & he solo.

I spent the night solo with MD last night, and it was seriously the most magical night we've ever spent together. I know it's NRE all over again, and I'm loving every minute of it. There just aren't words to describe how it is being together. We've talked about how it felt different from the other times we've been together. It feels like a new level, like we aren't holding anything back from each other.

Things are great with FJ and I, he's happy with everything now that I'm being more careful to be attentive to responsibilities at home. He is so great, and loves seeing us both happy and loved. He has a real soft spot for MD because of the way her ex treated her. We are all on the same page right now, lots of communicating going on.

So......all of that to say....I hear horror stories about triads. Are we blind to something? Is there anything about this situation that screams out to any of you that I may not see? The last thing I want is to go down a road we will regret, or where someone gets hurt. Thoughts? Words of advice?
__________________
franchescasc-33, bi female, likely monogomish formerly in triad relationship with:
FJ-36, married 15 yrs
MD-35, gf for 8 months
Currently dating SM, male, 40, monogamous
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