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Old 03-08-2013, 07:10 AM
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PixiRosenThorne PixiRosenThorne is offline
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Default Accidentally Poly .. oh yea and Fate.

All of this came into light a few months ago, but the real story starts at least 5 years ago.

I started dating when I was 14. My parents hated the idea and of course the boy. Eventually they learned to love him, same as I and I began to believe we were to be together forever. Two years later we broke up because he found another girl. I was confused. She was pretty, and I didnt know her, but I wanted to and wondered why he didnt just introduce us rather than hide her from me. I learned then that relationships only involve two people. So I got another boyfriend. This time he was loyal. I loved him very much, almost as much as my first. But he joined the military and it was my turn to be unfaithful. It didnt change how I felt about him, but I did enjoy making a new connection. I still wrote him every day about what I was up to (minus the other boy) and professed my undying love in each letter. When he came back from basic, he had found out about the new boy. How dare I! Did he mean nothing to me?! How could I possibly be so in love with him when I was trouncing around with another guy! Hell was raised and I once again learned that a relationship can only hold two people. I moved in with the third boy, more out of necessity than want. I fell in love with him in a way, but never really forgot about boy #2. Boy #3 and I branched out, found a few girls who wanted to sleep with us both and thoroughly enjoyed having an open relationship. I was at peace. I even got to sleep with boy #1 again! ^_^ About a year later boy #3 and I were having issues. I was depressed and hated our living conditions, I couldnt keep a job and we stopped having sex. I was done. Then a miracle happened. Boy #2 came back home from Iraq! I was so excited, still so in love and launched myself into his arms when he beckoned. I left boy #3 very quickly and moved in with boy #2. Soon I was a house wife of the US Army. And I detested it. But I was madly in love so I hid my depression still and played nice with the other wives. Then we found a good friend. He and his wife were swingers, pagan, and loved to throw parties. I felt like I was whole again! We went to a few, I begrudgingly warded off a few men and women as my husband suggested, and wondered how long it would be until we were like them.

Then orders came down for him to go to Korea. And he did with very little notice. Left alone, I was unfaithful again, only this time I made sure not to have sex. I didnt fall in love, only admiration and created a strong connection with the desire inside me. Shit went south very fast when he was gone. Divorce was threatened and we could not work through or talk about anything or anyone without a fight. Eventually he came home and nothing changed. I started to not feel as strongly as I once did. Communication was dead, the sex was still amazing, but something had been burned.

Enter K. We met at a party once when my husband was in Korea. I braided his hair, and kissed his cheek. Nothing more. Then we met again at my workplace almost a year later. But he did not recognize me, nor did I really recognize him, but I knew him. I knew the way he walked, how he held his shoulders. I knew his energy. Some months later, during that summer he was at a party again. This time we did recognize each other. I spent the night trying to avoid him, his icy eyes and silk black hair and that force around him. It didnt work. I ended up in his lap three ciders later. I tried desperately to make my husband come out to meet K. But it never happened.

Eventually we found each other on facebook and started talking. First about music. Then about books, traveling, people we knew and eventually his life. He told me he was poly and pagan. This pleased me to no end! Jokes started forming and I could no longer hide how much interest I had in K from my husband. He was worried I would leave him. Though my love for him had lessened, I had no desire to leave him. I still did love him very much. One day I was headed to the mall when K called. He wanted to know what I was up to and if we could hang out. Uh-oh. I know what that means. So i told him I was going to the mall with some other friends who were into similar thing, poly being one of them. He agreed that if it was alright with them, he would join us. A few phone calls later, and it was a date. Sort of. He never made it to dinner, but arrived just in time for drinks. We all sat and chatted, laughed and drank. Then it was time for us to leave, but I had drank too much (damn microbreweries!). He offered to help me pass the time until I could drive and when the others left, tried to kiss me. Oh no. Im not doing this again! "Married!" I snarled at him and stormed off to my car. "Drunk!" he scolded and stole my keys. We were at a stalemate. So we sat in his truck and spoke a little more of our faiths and other impolite things. When he was sure I was alright to drive he slipped me my keys and followed me out to the highway. His big truck zoomed past my little car, and I would have none of it. We raced about two miles down the highway before he called me and told me I was being reckless. Hahaha!! Reckless says the man on the cell phone pushing 90mph. We made our respective ways home and then, somehow I forgot about him.

My husband and I continued our lives in more or less solitude. I was still not happy with how I felt towards him, but there was nothing I could do. I resigned myself to just being happy with what we had. Then out of the blue K and I cross paths again. We started talking about music again, but this time it lead to flirting. We would stay up until 3am trading songs, finding bands and giggling about other women. One night his energy was different, stronger. He gave me a song, Alibis by Birthday Massacre and I loved it. We began to disect the lyrics and plotting when to see eachother again for "old times sake". The answer was Now. We ran off together for hot chocolate at a diner. He showed me his swords, I showed him my flogger.

Now, we have been dating for a little less than a month, but not a day goes by that I dont remember the beginning. What happened with my husband you ask? Well, I did finally come clean about how I had stopped loving him (and it was true, we had nothing left). We fought, and I offered poly or a divorce. He chose a .45 hollow point. Fate has been very peculiar to K and I. But I wouldnt trade these events for anything.

So! thats my story! What do you think?
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Old 03-18-2013, 10:15 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Originally Posted by PixiRosenThorne View Post
He chose a .45 hollow point.
How horrible. How long ago was this? Are you seeing a counselor?
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:15 PM
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PixiRosenThorne PixiRosenThorne is offline
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Im dealing with it as I can. Its been three months ago at this point, but honestly everything seems to be working out very well. If he were here, there is no way I could be completely free to have my own relationships. He would still be watching me. I also just found out that K and his wife are on this board! Mwhahaha!
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Old 03-30-2013, 02:43 AM
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Karma Karma is offline
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Small world...
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This is my family. It may be little, and broken, but it's still good. Yeah, still good.
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Old 04-01-2013, 12:54 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PixiRosenThorne View Post
He chose a .45 hollow point. Fate has been very peculiar to K and I. But I wouldnt trade these events for anything.
Quote:
Its been three months ago at this point, but honestly everything seems to be working out very well.
Your husband committed suicide?

But things seem to be working out very well?

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Old 04-01-2013, 01:27 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Your husband committed suicide?

But things seem to be working out very well?


Well you know, it's probably working out better than it would if she'd killed him herself. Sometimes life is like that.
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Old 04-01-2013, 01:32 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Well you know, it's probably working out better than it would if she'd killed him herself. Sometimes life is like that.
For her, certainly. I wonder how it's working out for him and his parents and siblings.
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Old 04-01-2013, 02:34 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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For her, certainly. I wonder how it's working out for him and his parents and siblings.
Probably not nearly as good...
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Old 04-02-2013, 05:53 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by PixiRosenThorne View Post
Im dealing with it as I can. Its been three months ago at this point, but honestly everything seems to be working out very well. If he were here, there is no way I could be completely free to have my own relationships.
I was so shocked by 'everything seems to be working out' in the aftermath of suicide that I completely missed the rest! This is ghastly! A man died. Your husband committed suicide in the wake of multiple betrayals by you, his wife, and all you can think about is now you're free to pursue your own relationships?

Is there something beyond sociopathic? Selfish and self-centered don't even begin to describe the person who could say such things.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:04 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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This bothers me too. In fact it didn't feel like an introduction from a real person to me. I am now hoping it is just poor writing and not the complete story. Karma and Mohegan did corrobate that the OP exists and they seem to find the OP ok. There are people that I would not be particularly sad about if they died, even if by their own hand. I could possibly see feeling this way about a controlling ex. Maybe. I think I would still be disturbed by the death though even if I hated the poor sod.

Last edited by opalescent; 04-02-2013 at 06:07 PM. Reason: More words
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