Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I also totally understand the whole "legal contract" approach of marriage.
Me too. There are some situations where I would ignore my feelings on the subject and get married.
As long as both people in that marriage agree on what it means to them, then everyone else can just butt out.
I think most people would absolutely agree with you. It's something that people very often say to me when discussing why I don't wish to be married. I have the chat often because people worry - they want me to be safe and happy and they see marriage as a good way to achieve those aims. So lots of people try to talk me out of my weird views on the subject.
Anyway - I kind of feel uneasy about the view that so long as the bride and groom know what they mean by the words they say, it doesn't matter what everybody else thinks they mean.
I suspect that nobody is 100% honest with every person in their life at every moment in their life - I'm certainly not.
But most weddings involve the making of binding life long promises in front of the closest friends and family that the bride and groom have. To me, saying those sorts words in those sorts of circumstances while not meaning all of them is a pretty full on deception - even if both the people getting married knows what they mean.