Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #361  
Old 03-23-2013, 11:03 AM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

I was supposed to meet Dena a week ago but in the end she couldn't make it to the queer event. So it was just me, rory and Evan. That was really nice, but I was quite disappointed that I didn't get to see Dena. She has a really busy life, and so does Evan, and actually me as well, so that makes it difficult to arrange a day that's good for all of us. I really hope it happens some time soon.
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #362  
Old 03-24-2013, 11:49 AM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

Another very pleasurable day with Evan over, now waiting for rory to get here. Later today me and rory are going to a poly meetup and Evan will join us there. Ah, I just love this. I love that my life is busy, that things are happening, that I get lots of loving and sex and conversations and support and excitement. I love that my partners like each other so much. I love the feeling of freedom, that there's nothing to hold me back, I can do anything I want. I just love love love my life!

I've said this before but I really like it when people don't conform to their gender roles, meaning that I'm usually not attracted to macho/manly men or girly girls. There has to be something unexpected, something that makes me think that person is expressing themselves in a non-traditional way. Sometimes it can be about looks, sometimes behaviour, or both. But it just has to be there to some extent for me to be really interested. This applies to both sexual and romantic interest. More emphasis on the romantic side though, because I only want to be in a relationship with that kind of people, whereas I can have sex with people who are not like that. But even in sex, it is a big plus. This came to mind yesterday when I was having sex with Evan, looked at his hand, saw the bright glittery nailpolish he was wearing, and thought to myself "That's so awesome and hot". Also when rory puts on a strap-on, I really like to just look at her with that for a while, because I think the combination of a female body with an added cock looks incredibly hot. Okay, the TMI part of the post ends now.
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #363  
Old 03-26-2013, 12:08 AM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

Communication, communication, communication. Me and Evan are developing a dynamic where we're talking about our thoughts and feelings really honestly and directly. I feel like it's very useful to get used to it from the very beginning, it's so much harder to change it later. We had a good conversation today about time. I've been feeling like I'd like a little bit more time with him than I'm getting right now. Not a lot more, but just a little. He said in the nicest way possible that he's actually quite happy with the amount of time we spend together at the moment. Although you might think that would cause an opposite reaction, I actually felt quite good about his answer. I felt more at ease somehow. The truth is always better than trying to guess or analyse what the other one is thinking/feeling. Now that I know he doesn't want to change this aspect of our relationship, I'll just deal with that and get over it. If I thought we were both feeling like we'd like more time together, but that just wasn't happening, I'd get quite frustrated. Now that I know he likes things the way they are and I get my needs fulfilled as well (it was just mild wanting of more that I expressed), there's nothing to worry about really.
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #364  
Old 03-27-2013, 01:06 PM
fuchka's Avatar
fuchka fuchka is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 338
Default

Quote:
Okay, the TMI part of the post ends now.
Tease!
Reply With Quote
  #365  
Old 03-29-2013, 08:15 PM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuchka View Post
Tease!


---

Evan was super nice to me yesterday. We were both out with different groups of friends and happened to end up in the same area, in bars quite close to each other. So while my friends went from one bar to another, I went to the bar where Evan was and told my friends I'd meet them a bit later in the bar they were going to. I hung out with him maybe like half an hour and then headed to the bar where my friends were supposed to be. When I got there, I noticed that the line was super long and it would take me like an hour or so to actually get in. I didn't want to wait that long alone, so I went back to the bar where Evan was. At this point it was already quite late. I was kinda lost about how to get home. Usually when I'm out somewhere, I'm either with someone who'll come back home with me or with someone who is going to the same direction so that we can share a cab or take the night bus together (there was someone like that in the group of friends I was out with). I hate going back home alone at night. This is something I'm scared of way more than anyone else I know, it is a real problem for me. So Evan decided to take the night bus to my house with me, walk me to my door and then walk a bit further away to take another bus to go home. Because of that he had to walk quite a bit more than he normally would have and he was home way later. I was so grateful that he did that! Made me feel very happy and safe and cared about.

Tomorrow is the party I wrote about earlier. So the date with Hank first (yay!) and then we'll go to the party together. Evan will go there a bit earlier to help Gemma with something. I'm very excited about the party, so many people I like are going to be there! Evan, Gemma, Hank, Felix and Casper. The other people that are coming are nice too, I think I've seen almost everybody at least once before. So I'm very much looking forward to it.
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #366  
Old 03-30-2013, 12:53 PM
rory's Avatar
rory rory is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 497
Default

Have loads of fun! And I also want to add that I appreciated the (totally-not-)TMI portion of your post earlier.

I so often want to comment my side on stuff Mya writes about, but I'm just too busy to do it.

Anyway, I've been feeling so good about poly lately, so very comfortable in my life. I love that I notice it becoming so incredibly normalised in many ways. I like that my brain has gotten rid of such an amount of internalised crap that I feel really removed from the sentiment that there's something strange about poly. To the extent that I actually completely forget it in many situations that people might have a negative reaction to it. I've noticed this a couple of times hanging out with Mya and Evan. Granted, we've mostly happened to be in relatively safe spaces, but still, I notice afterwards that I haven't come to think of it once that it could be a Thing in any way that it shows she's in relationships with both of us.

I've been inspired, in a way, by all the openness Mya has incorporated in her life recently, so much so that it's making me reflect on my own practices. I think the normalisation also plays a role in this, as well as the fact that since quitting my job I've had time and energy to meet some new people and I'm basically getting potentially-friend-type-people here in Dream City.

I consider myself living openly to quite a large extent. Especially where it's important: i.e. my friends, anybody I regularly interact with knows I'm poly and queer etc. Non-mainstream in many ways. Openness has for long been really important to me, and I tend to be only interested to get to know people with roughly similar mindsets.

And right now I'm taking contact with people in different environments, who might become friends. People I may not have time/opportunity to talk with a lot, but who I would happily like to get to know better.

And this brings me to facebook. At the moment, I don't use fb very much and I don't have much info on there about myself. My fb behaviour is not closeted, i.e. I don't watch out for people noticing poly/queerness etc. However, I'm not explicitly out either. I don't have any kind of relationship status or info about sexuality or anything to that effect - while it's not difficult to deduct things about me based on what I post about, I don't express stuff that much either.

I've been happy with that, when my fb interaction has been with people I already know, i.e. friends.

But I'm finding that when I'm friending new acquaintances, it would be really handy to just have it all out in the open. Firstly, it would sometimes save the trouble of coming out (and weed out people who might have issues with something or other, which would totally be a bonus). Secondly, it would just be handy for people to know a bit about who I am, sort of an additional channel for building a friendship if that's something we decide to do.

So, this is basically just thinking out loud about whether I'd like to make some changes and to what extent. Potential practices in consideration (i.e. could do but haven't decided if it's something I want to do):
- posting more status updates in general
- including more explicit poly/queer/kink/anti-sex-negative/non-mainstream political/etc. stuff in status updates
- setting a relationship status - open relationship
- putting up 'partners' via family
- having more info/photos in general
- having explicitly poly photos (atm. I have pictures with both of my partners but not really any obvious "couple photos" with either)

This is fb-related but it's also a broader thing. It's just that lately I've had such comfort in spaces where there's an atmosphere of openness, and it kind of makes me want to try and construct as much of that as possible in my whole life. And fb would just offer one potentially practical channel for developing that.
Reply With Quote
  #367  
Old 03-31-2013, 11:18 PM
fuchka's Avatar
fuchka fuchka is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 338
Default

Interesting to see FB as a tool to create more openness... I like that way of looking at, really positive

Mostly I've heard people think about how much they want to disclose/not disclose on FB, but I've never had anyone put it that way before (consciously using it to be more open) - cool!
Reply With Quote
  #368  
Old 04-02-2013, 10:43 PM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

The weekend. I don't know where to start. Like whoa.

Ok. So first of all, the date with Hank went really well. We had a good time and enjoyed each other's company a lot. Then we went to my place because we still had a couple of hours before the party was going to start.. and then, you know, had some more good times. I find him really fascinating. The things he tells me about himself and the way he acts, I just see a lot of things that make me smile and wonder. There's quite a lot of new territory to me and I'm so intrigued to see where this goes and what I find out about him as we get to know each other more. So yeah, I'd say he's a keeper.

The party itself was awesomely amazing! People stayed over and the party continued the next day. Lots of closeness, various connections, laughter, queerness, men in make-up and high heels and other equally wonderful things. I had a lot going on during those two days, but there is one thing I want to tell you more about. I had a threesome with Evan and Felix. Oh my. It was really good. I loved seeing them together, it's like the best thing in the world. They make a really hot couple. It was an added bonus that I got attention too. But I would've been perfectly happy just looking at them together. Ah, happy.

There have been quite a few shifts in relationships between other people I've been writing about. I don't know much and I could be interpreting things wrong, but it seems to me that Evan and Gemma's relationship is going more towards friendship than partnership, whereas Evan and Felix seem quite coupley and affectionate towards each other and I think they've really started to like each other. Felix and Casper aren't dating anymore, and Gemma and Casper started dating (or something) recently. Everyone is still getting along well, which is really nice to see.

I've noticed a change in myself recently. I've become more sexual somehow. I've been jokingly called a pervert quite a lot recently, one time it was even "colossal pervert". I talk about sex more and I do it more directly, I think about it more and I want to have it more than before. It's interesting. I don't know what has happened, but at least I'm really happy to be poly right now, so that there is more than one person to fulfill these increasing desires.
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #369  
Old 04-06-2013, 10:35 AM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 341
Default

Today is mine and rory's 2nd anniversary. We have big plans for the day, shopping in our favourite area of the city, dinner and theatre. I'm so happy that she's my partner, a big part of my life, my love. I have no doubt that we'll continue enriching each other's lives for a long time to come. <3
__________________
Living with Hank (partner) and rory (ex-partner/friend), also dating Ray
Reply With Quote
  #370  
Old 04-06-2013, 09:50 PM
RainyGrlJenny's Avatar
RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 173
Default

Happy anniversary to the both of you!!
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bisexual, boundaries, communication, foundations, ldr, long distance, nre

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:24 AM.