Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-20-2013, 04:57 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,449

The next question then I guess is how do you tell someone? I mean how do you really sit down with someone and say "I really like you, I really like hanging out with you, you're hilarious, you make me smile, I feel happy when I'm around you...but your personal scent just doesn't click with me."
I didn't get that deep when I told my "odd butter smell, no click" guy.

I just said something like...

"I like you as a friend and hanging out as friends. Yes, we tried some dates but it's just not clicking for me that way. There's no spark. I see you have feelings for me that way but I cannot help it if I do not. I am sorry. I'm still willing to be friends if you want that kind of relationship."

No need to tell him that his biochemistry, diet, whatever it is is causing a smell I can't click with for reasons I just cannot explain.

It's enough to say I just don't click for reasons I cannot explain. Not compatible is not compatible -- be it smells, religion, work schedules, hobbies, whatever.



Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-21-2013 at 12:35 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 05:04 PM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,401

There's no way to tell someone "I don't like the way you smell" without coming across as "you stink."

I'm with NYC. Why the hell would you need to tell someone that? You don't have to explain why you don't want to date someone. "I don't think it's going to work out" or "I don't think we're compatible" is not bullshit. Bullshit is lying.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 07:16 PM
naturalblue's Avatar
naturalblue naturalblue is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 21

Smell is extremely important. I have that issue with my husband's girlfriend. I like her, she's really into me and we've had a few threesomes but while she doesn't smell BAD, I just really don't like her scent so I've stopped sleeping with the two of them. I know my husband is bummed, he was really into the threesomes (of course) but I just can't bring myself to go down on her and feel it would be a dick move to just have her do it to me without reciprocating so it's better to just not do it all together.

On the other side, I have often been told that I smell very good and suspect that I may be one of those people that have strong pheromones. I'm a big girl, but have never had a problem with men not being attracted to me, even (and often) when I am not usually their type. Without fail, they all mention that my smell was a not insignificant part of their attraction. Of course, this is all conjecture and unsubstantiated hypothesis, but I find it interesting nonetheless.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 03:55 PM.