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Old 03-21-2013, 01:12 AM
jaynecobb jaynecobb is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Default Married/poly - Is herpes a deal breaker?

Forum noob here, but question about how big a deal herpes really is.

Happily married for 9 years, poly for 6. No symptoms, but wifey and I just got tested for HSV1 & 2. Results should be in in a few days.

Hypothetically, if she has either and I have none, is it crazy unreasonable for me to be hesitant about having sex with the wife ever again? God, just typing that sounds horrible. I'm just thinking if I say "Sure, I know we're going to be together forever, so voluntarily contracting herpes is worth it because I love you," and then 5 years down the road something happens and we get divorced am I going to really regret choosing to do that for her?

From the info I can gather, upwards of 60% of people already have it, and then a good portion of those people don't actually experience symptoms. I think it's really the social stigma that gets me about herpes.

Would love some thoughts from those more experienced and wiser than I. Preferably from both parties: those who have it and those who don't. Thanks!
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herpes, hsv1

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