Unfortunately, I have calmed down, mellowed all the way out to the point of just kind of blowing in the direction of the wind, and I still want nothing to do with my wife's girlfriend. If anything, my decision has become even more solid and certain than when I first said that. Initially, it was an angry reaction. The anger has worn off because I refused to wallow in anger and self-pity, and I have something resembling peace in my life. I honestly want nothing to do with her. I don't want to be friends. I don't even want to be cordial. Any and all interaction would be forced. The more time progresses, the more I accept the fact that my life is better off without her being any part of it. Once I cut people out of my life, it's a done deal. No looking back. I'm not missing anything. For years, we had nothing, so it's like those days again only there's no need to be cordial.
These days, the only focus I have is my kids well-being and attempting to save my marriage. I can't remember why I loved my wife. I can't even say I trust her anymore. I'm working on forgiving her for various things. We're starting over and going back to the basics. When I do finally return home, things will be different. I'm still sorting out some things before I present the ideas to her, but I'm no stranger to making sacrifices. All I can do is wake up every day and move forward.