Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #11  
Old 03-16-2013, 04:13 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default Just didn't have a name for it.

The term polyamory didn't come into my life until I was in my late twenties. I had always just used the term "lover" to explain the structure of some of my relationships. FWB was never a term that I used, because I loved my partners - lover seemed to fit, and had a vaguely European flair that appealed to the romantic in me. I had sketchy fantasies about living with a couple, and did some internet research about it. I found that a LOT of couples were looking for that, and found sites with the poly symbol. I ordered The Ethical Slut online and read it with a voyeuristic curiousity. I found other websites. I guess that up until that point I hadn't given much thought to the concept that other people might be doing what I was doing. Didn't feel like I needed to "identify" as anything; I was who I was, and had always accepted that, and been the best person that I could be to the people I was involved with (honesty, communication, etc). A lot of it didn't sound at all like what I had been doing, or wanted to do, but it was interesting to come across terms to explain what I had been doing for my entire sexual life, and titillating to read other people's stories.

I really question whether or not I indentify as "poly". Increasingly I am drawn to the word Queer ("odd, unconventional, somewhat eccentric") to describe my style of relationship and sexuality. In some ways, I feel that EVERYONE is poly - we all love more than one person in our life (parents, siblings, friends, etc), and attaching sex to it actually doesn't change much for me; I don't feel like sex always defines the level of romance/connection in a relationship. Trying to align myself with a larger social group/norm has always been tricky for me; I believe in living individual truths and learning from those experiences, and while there is certainly lots to learn from reading other people's stories, I don't like preconceived blueprints or ideals being laid on my life very much.

Last edited by CherryBlossomGirl; 03-16-2013 at 04:57 PM.
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
boundaries, cheating, coming out poly, commitment, defintion, description, descriptions, discovery, dissatisfaction, first time, happiness, history, introduction to poly, learning, mono poly, mono/poly, new to polyamory, opening a relationship, poly, relationship issues, scale

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:33 PM.