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  #31  
Old 03-13-2013, 11:47 PM
Eth76 Eth76 is offline
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Could you give them a heads up? That you need to have a time apart -- say a month? Starting on _____. So best they make alternate arrangements for Harry pick up that month?

They'd have to do it if you went on vacation or a business trip. This is no different. In fact, it could be more important than vacation/business adjustments. It's making the space for mourning so your best health and hers could be able to move forward. Then you can see what new shape this family could take so you are able to date, bond with someone else, and see if bio fatherhood is in your future or not.

Galagirl

Well I had not seen them for a few weeks until I picked him up from school the other day. I would like a clean break, but I except that Harry makes that impossible, so we will make the best of it.

I have told my wife that I want a divorce, and I have spoken to a lawyer about it. It was very difficult to see her that upset when I told her, but I have made my mind up now, and will not change it. I truly think that its for the best.
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  #32  
Old 03-14-2013, 12:07 AM
Eth76 Eth76 is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
So are you saying your next relationship will be a poly dynamic with you as a secondary but with you having biological children ?.
My wife and I just fell into Poly when she met Alex, and fell in love with him, it was not something either of us had aspired too.

I will not be looking for a poly relationship, and I doubt that lightning can strike twice, who knows though.

I am in a casual relationship with a girl at the moment, nothing serious. I'm happy with that for now!
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  #33  
Old 03-14-2013, 01:58 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Well I had not seen them for a few weeks until I picked him up from school the other day. I would like a clean break, but I except that Harry makes that impossible, so we will make the best of i
How does the childcare make things impossible? Lack of funds for daycare?

On the divorce front -- glad to hear you are moving it forward then. It's not fun, but you do have the right to seek romance shapes that you can be happy in and you do not sound happy in this arrangement any more and nothing about it is willing to bend so... cannot be in it.

GG
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  #34  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:29 PM
Eth76 Eth76 is offline
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
How does the childcare make things impossible? Lack of funds for daycare?

On the divorce front -- glad to hear you are moving it forward then. It's not fun, but you do have the right to seek romance shapes that you can be happy in and you do not sound happy in this arrangement any more and nothing about it is willing to bend so... cannot be in it.

GG
No it's not a question of funds, finance is not a problem for any of us.The problem is that when I'm not there, Harry goes into one! He gets very upset, and he was one very pissed off little boy when I picked him up the other day.

Over the last two years we have spent a lot of time together. I have a lot of free time because I have my own business, and do not have set work hours, unlike my wife and Alex. I have actually spent more time with Harry then they have.

As much as I would like a clean break, It would not be fair on Harry. I love him and have to see him, and he has to see me!

Your right, its not fun. I do love my wife, and its tough to have her crying on the phone all the time, but she will be fine once she gets used to the idea.
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  #35  
Old 03-15-2013, 02:21 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I want to be a Father at some point, and she has made it clear that it will not be with her, and yet she does not want to let me go. Its selfish and I cannot see anyway back from that.
Has she explained her reasoning? Why does she want to go back on her word to you? What is the logic they are using to defend the position that any new siblings of Harry's must be fathered by Alex and not you? Just that they don't want a half-sibling? That is lame. Or is it that they want this one to be his offspring and the next one yours? And why was their choice reached by only them? Why do they think it is okay to leave you out of the decision-making process? You mentioned that Alex is more of a dominant sexual partner to her - is he actually her Dom in a D/s situation? If so, is he inappropriately telling her what to do under the guise of being her Dom?

It would be good to get her side of the story. Have you asked her to come here to read this thread and post?
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  #36  
Old 03-15-2013, 02:16 PM
learninginTN learninginTN is offline
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After reading this entire thread, it makes me angry that she has treated you so poorly. She seems totally dismissive of YOUR wants and needs, and I'm not sure how you've tolerated it so long, except to say that love is a strange beast. I'm not one to talk, as many here would probably say I've been a doormat for too long in my relationship. But I think it underscores the fact that YOU know best what YOU want out of a relationship.

When she reversed her decision for you to father the next child, I would have totally blew a gasket and tossed her to the curb, if I hadn't already, but again, I'm not you, and I'm not the one with the investment in the relationship.

I hope being on this forum has at least offered you a different perspective on things, and I hope at a minimum you will hold her accountable for her dishonesty and total lack of regard for your wants and needs.

I do wish you well.
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