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  #11  
Old 03-08-2013, 11:33 PM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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For me I needed something more then my husband in that he is submissive and I can be equal but am submissive. I prefer the alpha male type sexually. So how common is it I don't know. I know when I am happy with bf he gets the overflow. Pls understand I do still love my bf but he wanted to sport fuck and I have ocd about std,s. It would have torn me apart. He is at a different place in his life. I will date aagain just not ready yet.
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  #12  
Old 03-09-2013, 09:55 AM
Kella Kella is offline
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Don't forget that lots of people just don't get involved with forums at all. My best friend and her husband are happily poly (they are my example for what healthy poly can be) and she tells me she has no interest whatsoever in discussing it on a forum. So there's that...
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  #13  
Old 03-09-2013, 10:51 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SEcondary View Post
Why bother if there are so many problems.
Considering the widespread failure rate for marriages, rampant spousal abuse, high reported levels of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in a marriage, it would push me to ask the same question regarding monogamy.

It's whatever works for you. Monogamy is the majority (though I personally contest that, at least as far as people's thinking goes) but that doesn't mean it's the only blueprint for a relationship.

Quote:
If I read this forum before my wife fell in love with her boyfriend I don't think we would have gotten into it.
This place, as has been pointed out, is often a place people come for answers when they're in pain. It ends up creating a big bloc of two post users who have massive problems that they have no experience dealing with, so they come here.

Quote:
Are the rewards that great?
Fuck. Yes.

Getting into this way of life required making one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make in my life, hands down. It blew apart my social circle, I lost several friends, I have to be very careful who finds out about the way I live, and the dating pool shrinks exponentially.

Even with all that, it is THE single best personal decision I have ever made and I say that with no reservations and no hesitation. It has done more to make my life happy and full than any other single factor. I feel more like myself, I feel more free, I feel more loved, and I feel more capable of loving.

No guarantees your experience will be even remotely similar. Every person has their own story. If you want it, you've got to ask.

Quote:
How good is it for the wives or girlfriends? Thanks
I would say it depends how you treat them. If you treat them like harem girls, I cant imagine it would be all that good.

If, on the other hand, you respect their individual needs, wishes, and personal sovereignty without trying to control or demand things of them, then I would imagine they would be fairly happy. If you truly love them as they are, then I see it being pretty enjoyable.
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  #14  
Old 03-10-2013, 05:19 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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See the following:

Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

Hope that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #15  
Old 03-10-2013, 11:59 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I love two. It's that simple. I don't "do poly" because of the rewards. I admit to being poly because I am in love with two.

Much like I don't "do bisexual". In fact I haven't DONE bisexual in years-because I haven't found a woman who can stack up to what I want in a woman.

But-I AM bisexual.

Additionally-I don't always post the "normal day to day wonderful stuff" because it is what it is and when it is-I'm busy with it.

When the shit hits the fan, I like to get an outside perspective before I open my mouth.
So, I come and inquire as to other perspectives.
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  #16  
Old 03-11-2013, 05:58 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I admit to being poly because I am in love with two.
Everything LR said. I might change this bit, though, to say I admit to being capable of poly. Unlike some others, I have never looked for multiple relationships, nor do I think I would if one of my current relationships ended.

They are a LOT of work. But they happen. My "version" of poly is dealing with the reality of falling in love with someone else while still in love with my husband. Didn't intend for it to happen, but it did, so for better or for worse this is now the frame I'm working within. Yes, the issues might be magnified compared to a mono relationship, but the good times are too.
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  #17  
Old 03-11-2013, 06:06 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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My wife and I have a wonderful marriage and I'm totally fine with her loving him more than me. Is this common?? Thanks
Sure. Lots of people feel that. They just don't necessarily shout it on the street corner.

Quote:
Why bother if there are so many problems. If I read this forum before my wife fell in love with her boyfriend I don't think we would have gotten into it.
Are the rewards that great?
Well, you are living the rewards over there. See this:

Quote:
My wife and I have a wonderful marriage and I'm totally fine with her loving him more than me.


Are you not happy? What is your need? To have someone reassure you that this happiness you currently have will not be removed somehow?

I am confused. Could you please clarify your want/need?

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-11-2013 at 06:08 PM.
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  #18  
Old 03-11-2013, 07:19 PM
SEcondary SEcondary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Sure. Lots of people feel that. They just don't necessarily shout it on the street corner.



Well, you are living the rewards over there. See this:



Are you not happy? What is your need? To have someone reassure you that this happiness you currently have will not be removed somehow?

I am confused. Could you please clarify your want/need?

Galagirl
I love it like like this. I want her to be free in loving her boyfriend. She loves him as much as me and I feel it can go further.
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  #19  
Old 03-11-2013, 08:11 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Again... y'all sound fine then.

People on a support forum seek support. So I was confused when you ask

Quote:
Yet in this forum it seems many people have problems. Their working on something,adjusting, four years later their still working on it ect.
Why bother if there are so many problems? Are the rewards that great? How good is it for the wives or girlfriends?
because I think you could be asking...

Quote:
Are the rewards of polyship great enough to endure working through problems in the polyship for years?
and that is only something the people inside that particular polyship can answer for themselves. The question of "Is this still worth it to me? "

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-11-2013 at 08:17 PM.
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  #20  
Old 03-11-2013, 08:34 PM
SEcondary SEcondary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Again... y'all sound fine then.

People on a support forum seek support. So I was confused when you ask



because I think you could be asking...



and that is only something the people inside that particular polyship can answer for themselves. The question of "Is this still worth it to me? "

Galagirl
I hope in the near futiure she will love him more than me. It would be wonderful for both of us. I have told her. She said she was totally ok with me telling her. After they made love last week he emailed a couple of days later and said she was awesome. Maybe it has started. We have a great marriage. And he is big enough for her.
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