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View Poll Results: What type of poly origin did you have?
I've always had poly tendencies and never really took to monogamy 10 17.24%
I've always had poly tendencies and tried to be monogamous before 20 34.48%
I fell in love with a poly person and have adapted to the lifestyle 3 5.17%
Other 25 43.10%
Voters: 58. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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  #10  
Old 03-06-2013, 03:23 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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So I'm curious, what are other people's stories about how you adjusted to the theory of polyamory, and how you came to believe it was the right choice for you?
It's just how I'm wired. I love hard. I love many. I felt that way before the word became an "official dictionary word" somewhere in the mid 90's.

Quote:
Was it guided by a partner?
Nope. Just me. I knew me.

Quote:
Was it a burning need to love more than one person?
Nope. I knew I had the capacity. I felt no burning need to love more than one at a time though. Just because I am capable does not mean I have to resources to polyship well. (Ex: enough time, enough space, enough energy, enough desire) What I wanted in college is different than I want now. Even in the same poly person, the wants and needs and limits can change over time.

Quote:
Was it an ideal that you ended up fulfilling or a person in particular (say a third or quad) that brought you to it?
Does not apply? I don't think I understand the question. (Forgive me... I feel tired tonight and am not taking it all in well right now.)

Quote:
Which comes first, chicken and egg style, the theory or the practice? What made it seem like the right and practical choice for you (and your partner[s])?
I am answering as a person. On the "global" level there is NOTHING new under the sun for humankind. Multipartner arrangements have been had before even if the word "polyamory" was not used at the time. I am delighted that the Internet and authors have created more poly resources closer to hand for those who are questioning or seeking. Makes things so much easier for people.

So for me it is neither. This isn't "poly theory" to me. This isn't "poly practice" to me. This is internal wiring -- just me being just me.

I grew up observing different relationship models -- monogamous marriages, cheating affairs, living together but not married. Living with grandparent generation in the home also. Living only with the parents and kids. Lots of living arrangements.

I slowly came into awareness that hey! I also knew several people who were concubines/second wives or children of concubines/second wives and how those households were set up and run. To me as a kid hide and seek at those houses was... hide and seek. It took me a while to notice the set up there was different than the set up in my home. Nobody made a big deal about it. So it was not a big deal to me. I grew up with "This is our house. That's other people's houses. Be respectful when at other people's houses."

So growing up I just figured that when I grew up... if I found willing partner(s) that I'd form my own model(s) with them in collaboration. We would make our agreements and stick with them as our personal relationship standard. You make your own house rules and it's your own house, right?

These relationships would grow and suit my wants, needs and limits at different ages and stages of my life. So I have done that and continue to do so.
It's not a big deal to me to just live my life as I see fit. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You only get the one.

HTH!

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-06-2013 at 03:29 AM.
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boundaries, cheating, coming out poly, commitment, defintion, description, descriptions, discovery, dissatisfaction, first time, happiness, history, introduction to poly, learning, mono poly, mono/poly, new to polyamory, opening a relationship, poly, relationship issues, scale, starting out

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