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View Poll Results: Are you currently married and practicing poly?
Yes 134 82.21%
No 29 17.79%
Voters: 163. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 02-19-2013, 08:26 PM
jeffanddannie jeffanddannie is offline
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me and my wife have been together for 10 years married for 9. we have recently explored Poly. we have a girlfriend and I would like to find another. so far it has had its ups and downs, there is always problems at some point. someone not getting enough attention or someone to busy to pay attention to anyone, new people comming into the dynamic can also cause stress. but over all we enjoy it and it has made our relationship stronger. the amount if trust and understanding is overwhelming
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  #52  
Old 02-21-2013, 01:15 AM
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trixlg trixlg is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RitaFire View Post
I am curious as to how many of you are married and practicing poly.
Sort of as today I took my self off the poly listing.. I have to many emotional issues but still relate in the since of poly..

My long term goal is to have a triad with my boie, he is also open to the idea..

but that's only when I am emotionally sound we both agree on that.
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  #53  
Old 03-01-2013, 07:04 AM
chrisdon1990 chrisdon1990 is offline
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Unhappy Wife and I for a boyfriend

My wife and I have been married for almost 23 years. We had a lover who we thought we were going to be in a Polyamorous relationship with bu the ended up married. Now we are trying hard to find "Mr. Right"

It has brought us so much closer together and made our love indescribable.

However, we can't seem to find that special guy
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  #54  
Old 03-01-2013, 03:03 PM
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Malfunktions Malfunktions is offline
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Cool

My husband and I are only husband and wife in a pseudo kinda way. Not actually married but might as well be. 6 years have passed and no end in site. I think we opened up to the possibility of poly because as a bi woman who NEVER though she'd be monogamous, I have been and I guess I'm getting a reward.

Yes, I'm a big fan of the reward/punishment dynamic

So, I didn't vote cause we're not actually married....
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  #55  
Old 03-01-2013, 10:38 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default "Married" means priorities have been set.

We have been married for just about three years, together for six and a bit. We met when we were both with mono partners, and had negotiated being open. We were lovers for several months, and then realized that we wanted to build a future together as primaries; needless to say it was a massive transition for both of us.

We were monogamous for the first four years of our relationship. We've been open for over two years in various forms; a few triads both casual and more serious, a quad, and some dyads. I don't think that either of us would consider ever permanently closing our relationship; I don't even know if we were under that impression of being closed prior to opening - it was just what felt right at the time. We've folded back into monogamy a couple of times, and find that satisfying as well - it's largely about having the freedom to explore if and when we want to, more than anything. Non possession, but we have set each other as 'priorities' through marriage. Neither of us have ever really desired strictly monogamous relationships in our pasts.
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  #56  
Old 03-01-2013, 11:36 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Re (from RitaFire, Post #6):
Quote:
"How many of you married and poly people got married with the original intention of remaining monogamous?"
When I got married (in 1987), I (and my wife) had every intention of remaining monogamous.

Quote:
"And how have you dealt with poly?"
As well as one can when one's spouse gets Alzheimer's and goes downhill from there.
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  #57  
Old 03-02-2013, 01:00 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RitaFire View Post
How many of you married and poly people got married with the original intention of remaining monogamous?
Hmmm...we've never actually been monogamous. The "flavor" of our "ethical non-monogamy" has changed over the years - not because we got married but because we continue to change and grow as people.
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  #58  
Old 03-07-2013, 01:47 AM
SEcondary SEcondary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisdon1990 View Post
My wife and I have been married for almost 23 years. We had a lover who we thought we were going to be in a Polyamorous relationship with bu the ended up married. Now we are trying hard to find "Mr. Right"

It has brought us so much closer together and made our love indescribable.

However, we can't seem to find that special guy
Married ten yers. Wife has almost always dated other guys for sex only. She fell in love. Told me about it and said it needed it to happen again. And I helped her find a guy. They have been together for three years. No problems at all. We love it this way. Keeps getting better.
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  #59  
Old 03-13-2013, 09:43 AM
laughingowl laughingowl is offline
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Default Married yes, practicing(tm) polly yes, if not actively poly at present

Happily married here, and honestly for myself not even really looking.

Won't say I couldn't love somebody else, but no desire to seek out more...

However wife, when I met her told me she knew there was a female soul mate out there, even before we realized there was anything more to us, then me be a friend to her brother.

While I still think fears of losing me, and 'its wrong' cause her to hold back; she also some times directly sometimes more subtely does make it clear she does crave female companionship.

So I would still say 'practicing' poly right now, even if its just encouraging wife it would be ok, it is normal, and helping her figure out what she really wants, and have the courage to try.


Peace
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  #60  
Old 03-16-2013, 08:37 PM
BSP83 BSP83 is offline
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Married 11 years. We never really explored the idea, outside of the fantasy of a "threesome" until I fell in love with my best friend. We are now both dating her and are loving it. They both complete a big part of me. I can't imagine not being with both of them.
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