Grokking Poly

[vmsmith]

Although I've been on the Internet since 14.4 modems, I've never really subscribed to online forums, and so I'm about as new to this stuff as I am to poly. I made a very brief introduction here, and a bit longer one here with my first real poly question to to the board. Sometimes I don't really have a question and just want to share an update on my journey. If I understand correctly, that's probably what this section of the forum is for. I just start a thread now and then reply with updates over time. Sound about right? Good, here we go.

[vmsmith]

So, my wife and I attended a couple of local poly meetups and they went very well, we both had a good time and met lots of interesting people. I met one very interesting couple and received an invite for coffee the next day. My wife and I talked it over, she felt comfortable with the situation, and let me know I could go ahead! We had previously expected a slower ramp up as my schedule is pretty hectic at the moment, but with a bit of free time this week it looks like I'll be able to find time for a nice happy hour after work.

The day after I had committed to meeting with this other woman (what do I call her at this point?), my wife experienced some jealousy, possibly triggered by some miscommunications around scheduling... but we were able to talk it out and all is well now. I can't believe how much this process of opening up has improved our communication skills. I feel like I'm much more direct and less filtered, though I still try to be as tactful and sensitive as I can be. We've both given each other permission to say what we're feeling without immediate judgement, knowing that we may be in the middle of processing and thus could feel differently later.

So, that's all I have to share tonight. I'm happy and in love with my amazing wife and looking forward to starting new friendships soon!

[JaneQSmythe]

Hello and welcome! (Sorry I missed your intro post - I've been traveling and just now catching up...I saw your wife mention your username and said to myself "Aha, another Heinlein fan in our midst!" Had to look you up.)

Originally Posted by vmsmith

Sometimes I don't really have a question and just want to share an update on my journey. If I understand correctly, that's probably what this section of the forum is for. I just start a thread now and then reply with updates over time. Sound about right? Good, here we go.

Yup, you got it exactly right! You can invite discussion/feedback if you like, but generally this section is more for your personal use...journaling your journey, so to speak.

Originally Posted by vmsmith

The day after I had committed to meeting with this other woman (what do I call her at this point?)

I'd go with "potential interest"?

Originally Posted by vmsmith

... my wife experienced some jealousy, possibly triggered by some miscommunications around scheduling... but we were able to talk it out and all is well now. I can't believe how much this process of opening up has improved our communication skills. I feel like I'm much more direct and less filtered, though I still try to be as tactful and sensitive as I can be.

Secondary benefits of poly...even if nothing else ever goes anywhere...you have to (must!) communicate effectively with your partner(s) - tactful? yes. sensitive? yes. but also truthful, honest, open...not all truths are easy to say/hear...but it is better to say them than not. You grok?

JaneQ

[vmsmith]

I grok. Thank you, my water brother.

[friday]

Just gotta say I love all the Heinlein references. I think Heinlein was where I first got the idea that being poly was a thing, and potentially a very good thing.