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Old 01-05-2010, 04:29 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Default How we can all help

There are some for whom "big-A" activism isn't for them for whatever reason (some a question of real-world practicalities and others for whom that is not their "style"). It's easy to feel that we can't make a positive difference in our communities if we don't follow the big Activist Agenda. I'd like to suggest that there are many approaches and that one does not have to be automatically portrayed as in conflict with another.

I very much admire the Activitists who are willing to put themselves "out there" and on the line for social change - that takes courage. But not everyone is in a position to do that, but I do feel that these other people can make a positive difference to the poly community. This thread is intended for those what still want to try to make a difference in other, perhaps smaller, but just as meaningful ways, to talk about things that can be done.

Taking pages from the Jeff Foxworthy play-book:
  • If you have talked to one person who was cheating on their spouse and shown them that polyamory is an alternative - then you have made a positive difference.
  • If you have recommended one book to someone who was struggling to deal and it has helped them - then you have made a positive difference.
  • If you have met face-to-face with other poly folks and helped them see that they are not alone - then you have made a difference.
  • If you have joined an online poly group and have shared your real world experiences of having a poly relationship, so that others can learn (from your successes as well as your failures) - then you have made a positive difference.
  • If you have started a polyamorous community because there wasn't one that suited you, and gather a few people into it so that they have more poly-friendly contacts - then you have made a positive difference.
  • If you have told one person about a poly community that you like, and have recommended they join (polyamory.com, of course!) - then you have made a positive difference.
  • If you are in a healthy polyamorous relationship so that others can see that it CAN work without a lot of drama or people getting hurt - then you have made a positive difference.
This list is far from exhaustive, and I would love others to add in positive things that they feel could make a difference in our wide poly community - no matter how small these things may seem. My point is to show that there are many diverse ways to make our community better for the people who feel they belong to it, and I don't think that people should be shy or minimise these things.

It can be very scary and lonely, especially for those in rural areas or ones with anti-poly feelings. I feel that helping these people see that they are not alone, and that they are not wrong for their beliefs about loving more than one in an open and honest way, can go a long way towards making this a better community as a whole.
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  #2  
Old 01-05-2010, 06:32 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Default Interesting

Ciel,

Yes - that's an interesting insight.
I guess for us, we take kind of a "big picture" approach to the whole "poly" concept. I guess we see it as just one of the shifts in humanity that we expect (and hope) are going to take place in the coming years. If we are going to survive as a species we are going to have to recognize & embrace our connectedness. Yea - I'm sure that sounds .....the word slips me at the moment. You know. But it's not - really. It's just realistic.
We view "poly" as just one of the variety of seeds that are beginning to sprout. Seeds having the potential to bring all manner of people into the same space with understanding & compassion.

So in regards to your post - one of the things we actively do is to take opportunities when they arise to bring an awareness of the poly option to people who have no idea it exists - and they are in the majority.
We make no claims about our own involvement (unless the conversation leads directly that way), wave no banners, no bumper stickers etc. For example, we've emailed links pointing to sites like lovingmore.com etc with just a note basically saying "look at this that we just came across - interesting stuff". No hint of what it's about, no prompting etc. Just an opportunity for them to explore. Knowledge is never a bad thing.
It's not a "cause" we sing out for, not an agenda to pursue - just a sharing. An effort in education that their CAN be better ways.
Small ripples in a big pond. The kind the wind may happen to whip into waves.

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Old 01-05-2010, 06:58 PM
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That's been my sort of activism since my energies had to turn inward. I no longer had the energy to cope with the bigger picture, so I made the determination to share on a personal level and see if I could make that difference one heart at a time. My friends can now put a face on the concept of non-monogamy. It's a huge first step, figuring out that Those People are actually rather a lot like you. Kind of a "Huh" moment. I like causing those.
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Old 01-05-2010, 08:07 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
That's been my sort of activism since my energies had to turn inward. I no longer had the energy to cope with the bigger picture, so I made the determination to share on a personal level and see if I could make that difference one heart at a time. My friends can now put a face on the concept of non-monogamy. It's a huge first step, figuring out that Those People are actually rather a lot like you. Kind of a "Huh" moment. I like causing those.
Amen to this. That sums up my own approach nicely
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Old 01-06-2010, 07:20 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default

thanks for posting this ceil. Some valid points there.
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Old 01-09-2010, 03:12 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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LOVE that list! I don't have time tonight to think of more-but everything on your list except STARTING a poly group-I've done. A friend of mine did just start a poly group here locally and I was the first for sure YES I'LL BE THERE! I can't wait. I'm thrilled actually.

It's amazing what we can do when we talk one on one. Really-there are so many people on this board-who joined after I said something. I don't attribute that all to me-they obviously had leanings before hand, but I can't help but think that is a sign of my helping carry the banner a bit so to speak.

Thanks for starting this thread!

Lets try to keep it on page one!
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