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  #11  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:09 PM
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Ugh! that would drive me! If it is because of lack of members I wonder if they know why.

:/
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  #12  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
So my family is all young (mid to late 20s) and white but economically secure? That part make me giggle.
See this is part of what got my wheels turning. How can the perception of polyamorists out there in everywhere include two criteria that are most often not simultaneous. Success is usually a product of experience, and experience is usually a product of time. Youth is not easily found in successful people, yet monetary security is usually found with successful people. Young and rich? Maybe poly is a subset of lottery winners? lols, i kid.

But seriously, i wish there was a more efficient way to explain to outsider that poly people truly do come from all walks of life. There are always going to be statistical patterns, but it seems that the sources who quote these patterns are usually outsider observers who lack a reasonable understanding of the big picture. As if they need to fill out a story so they spit out a generalization they assume to be true based on the statistics.

Ugh, more labels.
TTFN,
Tim
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  #13  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:59 PM
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Given the reportedly high numbers of polyamorous people in my state, I am beginning to think that the gatherings have gone from public to private, and they're all just doing things with their friends now. I wish the group they called poly 101 was still active, but it has been listed as DOA also.

I think this means I need to follow the good advice I have been given about seeking groups with other common interests, and hoping that somewhere within those groups I might stumble over like-minded individuals. I had hoped for the easier route of going to poly-based meetings, not only to learn, but to erase that awkward "are they/aren't they"
poly friendly. Nothing to be done for it, though.
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  #14  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by undefinable View Post
In this instance i am using the term Polyamorist in a broad sense, so as not to get bogged down by "which flavor of poly is best" issues. I intended it as an inclusive label (something which i am loathe to do) for the purposes of the discussion.

That said, i think i will take a shot at hijacking my own thread

I am not comfortable with a "involvement in the community" provision as it feels to me like a price of admission. It seems exclusive, and elitist, and i just dont like it. For me it is akin to saying that a person who dedicates their life to jogging as far as possible is not an athlete because they do not compete in marathons. No recognition given for the countless hours, injuries, and sacrifices they have made, because they do not contribute to the process of athleticism.

Or like saying a gay man who does not have active involvement in LGBT issues. Attraction, romantic relationships, and sex with other men does not qualify if he doesnt participate in the community as well.

Personally the criteria you put forth would qualify a person as a polyamorous activist quite well, but i think it is defining too precisely a group of people who are by nature inclusive.

Proceed to lay waste to my logic..........NOW!
I dont think there's a requirement to be considered poly, I certainly didn't intend what I said to convey that message.

To fall back on metaphor, its the difference between calling one's self religious and calling one's self Christian; one implies a more formalized way of living and thinking than the other with a more specific "crowd" to be a part of.

I feel like I'm not explaining myself in the right way and I'm having difficulty conveying the proper meaning. That annoys me.

Quote:
See this is part of what got my wheels turning. How can the perception of polyamorists out there in everywhere include two criteria that are most often not simultaneous.
For that you'd probably have to look at where people see poly people most often. They're unlikely to know anyone who is so they have to fallback on the only exposure they have and that usually is media of some form. Take a look at some of the recent examples of poly in the media, its easy to see why someone would come away with the idea that poly people are young and successful if that was the only exposure they have to draw on. Plus we still have a cultural perception that "playing the field" is something you do when you're young until you're ready to "grow up" and get married.
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Last edited by Helo; 02-25-2013 at 08:27 PM.
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  #15  
Old 02-25-2013, 10:19 PM
bigkellyna bigkellyna is offline
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Default We don't like Mondays...

From the point of view of a Monday in February in these climes it is not always easy to keep our spirits up... Fortunately we have each other here...
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  #16  
Old 02-25-2013, 11:10 PM
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Originally Posted by bigkellyna View Post
From the point of view of a Monday in February in these climes it is not always easy to keep our spirits up... Fortunately we have each other here...
Winter in Canada. Could there be a more powerful arguement in favor of seeking a warm place to curl up with someone you love than six months of freezing tempuratures? I think not. Chin up, spring is just around the corner. pretty soon you will be waiting for the highway construction to finish for the year and wishing for the snow again!
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  #17  
Old 02-26-2013, 12:25 AM
bigkellyna bigkellyna is offline
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Default Poly on the Beach...

Too bad there isn’t a “polycycle” to transport our precious crew, get around hazards like construction and end up in a tropical paradise…at least for a few months… corners are better on 2 wheels anyway…
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  #18  
Old 02-26-2013, 04:08 AM
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The discussions were on fb. I am in several poly groups on fb that have several hundred members each. Thats where I saw this topic tossed around.
I do think the quote, while misleading, was intended to mean that visible polys TEND to those statistics.
Unfortunately-anyone who knows even the most basic info about stats can tell you that "significant" in stats doesnt mean shit in rekationship to what significant means in any other conversation.
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  #19  
Old 02-26-2013, 03:06 PM
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Significance is a victim of population too. I live in a city of approximately 65,000 people yet we have the second largest population of gay and lesbians per capita in North America. Second of course to San Francisco. So statistics play around with the per capita thing to make it seem outrageously high or insanely low, all to fit the point they are trying to make.

Example:
There are 3 male humans, 1 male dog, 5 male fish, and a male cat in my house,

Then there's me.

Using the art of statistics, even though 7 males aren't even human, a statistician would make the conclusion that my households gender ratio is 10:1 ignoring to mention the fact that, again 7 are not even human.

^^ I feel like I lost my point and don't know how to get it back...
Oh we'll hopefully you get it.

As for winter in Canada, lets just say winter is meant for cozying... Makes sense considering both my boy were born in the summer
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Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
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CM: second son 9 months.
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  #20  
Old 03-05-2013, 06:29 AM
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I find that an interesting idea. The white, young, middle class being the "generic" polyamorist. The young part makes sense ... as my generation is much more accustomed to the idea of different lifestyles than previous ones ... though I would think that pretty much anybody who came of age during or after the 60's has had enough time to acclimate to a society that accepts non-traditional lifestyles.

The middle class also makes sense, since honestly, at the lower end of the economic spectrum I don't think they have the time and energy to invest into discovering the possibilities and educating themselves about what an adult relationship could be. And I say this as a professional who teaches adults in the lower income levels how to use a computer mouse on some days. They're super nice, but their time seems to be consumed with getting by, and polyamory takes time and energy for studying and contemplation and soul searching that they simply don't have.

The white part I don't get. But that might just be because I'm Asian and my husband is Hispanic. We've met/interacted with gays/straights/polys/etc of all races, possibly because we're West Coasters and ethnic ourselves we tend to mix with middle class people of all ethnic backgrounds.
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