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Old 02-25-2013, 04:01 PM
rox rox is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Default Primary In Closed Triad Feeling Left Out


I'll try to explain this situation as best I can. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. I identify as bi, very strongly lean toward same sex, but love my husband. For the past 2 years I became very, very close to a friend of the same gender. She and I became incredibly close, talked multiple times a day about everything via text. Very much grew to love her, there was nothing physical about it. (or at least nothing acted on because I thought that wasn't a possibility, and it was a pure love in every sense of the word.)

Then we decided, with his permission, to date each other. In no time he was introduced into the picture, and we decided to try to be a three-way relationship. A closed triad.

That's when everything changed. He and she started their relationship, and very quickly the intensity grew to a level I couldn't have dreamed. I don't begrudge them that, but she and I no longer talk constantly. He and she do. When we're in the same room together the heat between them is unbelievable ... they spend minutes at a time practically devouring each other with their eyes. Then they'll remember I'm there and toss an "i love you" my way, or touch my arm. Talk about getting crumbs off their table ...

I do not want to be the jealous shrew. I want to chalk some of this up to NRE, but really, she and I are a new relationship too, at least physically. Emotionally, no. That's been awhile. But how much does that come into play?

I'm very rapidly becoming constantly miserable. She'll respond to one of my touches lightly but practically climb all over him when he comes into the room. In bed, it's all equal and she and I have amazing sex. But the intimacy during the day is so lacking. The closeness. I miss her.

Any advice?
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