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  #571  
Old 02-18-2013, 04:06 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Wow, is that really how you respond to a Moderator suggesting your thread may be in the wrong place and offering to move it for you?
Hahahaha! I thought they were joking. hm. Maybe I was wrong.

See, there ya go, I'm assuming again....

Sadly I have gotten used to not being disrespected by some people that come here. I am respected by others and that is enough for me.

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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
There used to be less of a number of threads on similar topics here back when one of the Mods used to merge topics to create Master Threads. There was a reason for that; it makes it easier to find variety of discussions on specific subjects. The Master Thread on BDSM addresses any and all aspects of that subject. If you want to discuss something specific about only D/s, that is the appropriate thread this should be merged with.
This thread has been tagged and it should come up in a search along with the others. That's good enough I should think.
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  #572  
Old 02-18-2013, 04:09 AM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
This thread has been tagged and it should come up in a search along with the others. That's good enough I should think.
Well, I meant IF it gets merged, that is where I would think it would go. Just wondering why it isn't it in the Fireplace, but whatever. Doesn't matter, I guess.
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Last edited by nycindie; 02-18-2013 at 04:31 AM.
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  #573  
Old 02-18-2013, 04:36 AM
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Well, I meant IF it gets merged, that is where I would think it would go. Just wondering why it isn't it in the Fireplace, but whatever. Doesn't matter, I guess.
movin' it right along my dear. I will take that as a cue, from a long standing participant here, that this thread doesn't address poly a whole lot, if at all.... going on your word and moving it, as I haven't read the whole thing.
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  #574  
Old 02-18-2013, 05:52 AM
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tldr


It's just a little thread amongst a forum where hundreds of threads are started every month.

Can anyone say "micromanagement?"

I had expected more from a 'poly' community than these petty complaints about thread location, thread existence, etc. More openness. And, yes, I am quite aware that poly is as varied as the individuals involved in it, Whoever lectured me up there^.


This forum needs to grow up. ? Not sure what is going on here.

No need to respond. I'll leave y'all to your circle jerk forum.
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  #575  
Old 02-23-2013, 10:07 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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This thread = headdesk
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  #576  
Old 04-25-2013, 04:55 PM
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Hey everybody,
I came across an interesting blog and did a little reading about a certain kind of domination which got me curious about something, so I thought I'd post a question here. I know I've read on this forum that people have been, or know others who have been, in D/s relationships that are totally online.

How does that work? I admit that totally online relationships of any kind mystify me for many reasons - but to dom someone that way would seem even more challenging. I am aware that pros do this sort of thing online and charge subs for their various services - and I imagine there is a lot of web-camming going on. But what about real Doms and Dommes who are not pros? In this one blog several Dommes said they would never send nude pictures or explicit videos of themselves to a sub, because that would lower their position (and a sub wouldn't "deserve" it). How do they develop the relationship, dominate, enforce their contracts, etc.? And how would they know the subs are really who they say they are?

If you or anyone you know has an online D/s thing going on that isn't professional, I hope you share the logistics of it and how it is managed and maintained. Just so curious - I had to ask!

Also, do you think anyone gets into domming in order to gain confidence and develop leadership skills, or is it usually just something they are naturally skilled at?
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Last edited by nycindie; 04-25-2013 at 05:24 PM.
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  #577  
Old 04-25-2013, 06:32 PM
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I think it's something some people are naturally skilled at and/or enjoy, but i also think it's possible to "act" dominant in order to please your partner... or satisfy your customer.

That said (that's my latest segue), i don't think there would be any use for dominant partners or Masters/Mistresses, etc. if there wasn't such a demand by submissive types. Perhaps i'm mistaken, but i do not believe being submissive is something you can fake and still enjoy in order to please your partner, due to the "optional" nature of that power-imbalance. Besides, i thought i read that subs outnumber doms by... I don't remember exactly, but it was at least by an order of magnitude or two.
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  #578  
Old 04-25-2013, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I think it's something some people are naturally skilled at and/or enjoy, but i also think it's possible to "act" dominant in order to please your partner... or satisfy your customer.

That said (that's my latest segue), i don't think there would be any use for dominant partners or Masters/Mistresses, etc. if there wasn't such a demand by submissive types. Perhaps i'm mistaken, but i do not believe being submissive is something you can fake and still enjoy in order to please your partner, due to the "optional" nature of that power-imbalance. Besides, i thought i read that subs outnumber doms by... I don't remember exactly, but it was at least by an order of magnitude or two.
I totally agree with this. My husband is submissive...it's who he is and always has been. I tend to lean toward dominance, but am more vanilla. I can "act" dominant to him when that's what he wants/needs. He can also "act" dominant during play, but that's where it ends. His submissiveness is a part of who he is.
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  #579  
Old 04-25-2013, 06:46 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hey everybody,
I came across an interesting blog and did a little reading about a certain kind of domination which got me curious about something, so I thought I'd post a question here. I know I've read on this forum that people have been, or know others who have been, in D/s relationships that are totally online.

How does that work? I admit that totally online relationships of any kind mystify me for many reasons - but to dom someone that way would seem even more challenging. I am aware that pros do this sort of thing online and charge subs for their various services - and I imagine there is a lot of web-camming going on. But what about real Doms and Dommes who are not pros? In this one blog several Dommes said they would never send nude pictures or explicit videos of themselves to a sub, because that would lower their position (and a sub wouldn't "deserve" it). How do they develop the relationship, dominate, enforce their contracts, etc.? And how would they know the subs are really who they say they are?

If you or anyone you know has an online D/s thing going on that isn't professional, I hope you share the logistics of it and how it is managed and maintained. Just so curious - I had to ask!

Also, do you think anyone gets into domming in order to gain confidence and develop leadership skills, or is it usually just something they are naturally skilled at?
My online dom was back in the days of IRC, when there was no readily available way to transfer pictures. We would meet in a chat room, and have sessions. It was wildly sexual and liberating for me, and he enjoyed having someone who was so willing. I suppose I could have been faking and he wouldn't have known about it, but I didn't fake. I did everything he told me to, without question - that was our agreement, and I thought about him a lot in my day to day life. For me it was more intellectual than anything else, and *I* chose to make it physical.

For me, domming is a way of using my confidence and authority to bring pleasure to a sub. It's a role, and it's fun - but I'm a switch, so being a sub can be really fun too. I think being a dilligent and obedient sub gives me a standard to hold my subs to when I switch. It's good for my leadership skills because I have a place in my life where someone cannot say no to me (unless they use their safe word, of course), but it's totally different, as I would NEVER manage my staff from an 'on high' place - that's no way to build a team, LOL. In that same breath, I think that my style of real-life management adds something to my sub's experiences - I can spot their shortcomings as a sub and completely and utterly capitalize on it - I am used to spotting weaknesses in a team and working to strengthen them, so challenging a sub in a really psychologically taboo area is easier for me.

Last edited by CherryBlossomGirl; 04-25-2013 at 06:50 PM.
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  #580  
Old 04-25-2013, 06:48 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hey everybody,
How do they develop the relationship, dominate, enforce their contracts, etc.?
I've had a bit of personal experience in this. You develop the relationship by talking. The Dom/me tells the sub what to do. The Dom/me demands to be addressed respectfully, usually to be called Ma'am, Miss, Sir, Daddy or some other term of respect. "Enforcement" isn't needed, because it is all consensual. If a sub doesn't please, he or she knows they will be dropped.


Quote:
And how would they know the subs are really who they say they are?
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Not really a sub? Not really the gender or age or whatever that they say they are? A sub can send pix or get on cam even if their Dom/me doesn't want to. But I can imagine some Dom/mes who would be ok with getting on cam themselves.

I've ordered subs to do various things and I am pretty sure they were actually doing what they said they were, just by the apparent excitement they showed in their typing. Sometimes you have them do such and such (wear a certain outfit, get in a certain position, masturbate in public, flog themselves, tie up their cock and balls, etc, there are so many fun things to do!), and write on a piece of paper, or on their body, something like, "Hello Miss X (the Dom/me's name), this one (meaning themselves) is your slut," and take a pic of themselves, along with the piece of signed paper.

Quote:
Also, do you think anyone gets into domming in order to gain confidence and develop leadership skills, or is it usually just something they are naturally skilled at?
You need a certain degree of leadership skills, but they can be further developed in the relationship. Likewise, the sub/slave is trained to be a more pleasing sub, learning to do things that specifically please their Miss/Master.
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