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Old 02-21-2013, 04:28 PM
Sabriana Sabriana is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 15
Default reconnecting primary after another partner? :(

My husband had sex with his new partner and I had intimacy not resulting in sex with my new partner last night.

I feel an incredible amount of closeness to my new partner afterwards. i feel his skin against mine every time i close my eyes... i feel his lips on my shoulder, my breasts, my leg... every time i brush against something or the air hits me. i'm pretty much on cloud 9 about it.

I didnt ask for details about their interaction and I dont want any. The problem I'm having now, is that I feel kind of... distanced? from my primary. He wants to reconnect after last night, and I just dont want him touching me. I want my new guy to touch me. Obviously I cant say that to him because it would hurt him, but I dont want it. I dont want to kiss, to hug, to be touched by his hand....

I'm hoping that will fade in a day or two or that I'll find a way to understand it. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel a lot of guilt about feeling this way, but its how I feel. My husband and I have not always been on the best terms regarding poly. I had a boyfriend and he was hurt by the amount that I loved him (and never told me until the very end), and in the end I left my love for my husband's comfort (among other more logical and very valid reasons) a year ago. Then he had someone and during their relationship he lied to me and broke agreed upon boundaries over the remaining year on atleast 3 occasions...

I'm confused. Not sure why I feel this detachment Is it because I feel this overwhelming new attachment to my new guy? Or is it because of him being with another woman after he hurt me so much with the last one? I just dont know.

**edit** Sorry just wanted to apologize for not introducing myself before making this my first post. I have not posted here before but was desperate to find feedback from people who might understand and yet wouldn't be read by others in my circle.

Last edited by Sabriana; 02-21-2013 at 04:37 PM.
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