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Old 02-18-2013, 06:43 AM
BoyF BoyF is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 9
Default Confused about my reaction

So we recently entered into a relationship as a few of you know (Rhaenes and Sonas) are my two girlfriends now. And since Sonas is studying abroad and Rhaenes and I are back home, i figured she could have her fun and be open sexually if she wanted to, she is her own person after all and it hadnt bothered me before. She slept with one guy and i didnt blink an eye, i asked her how it was made a few jokes whatever. I was happy i wasnt getting too jealous and i could deal with it.
Come a few weeks later and she sleeps with another boy, but this time it struck a chord and i felt very upset for about a day. I have my theories as to why it upset me, The first guy i had met via skype and knew what he looked like and sort of his personality and she told me it was like forced upon them by a third friend who just said "hint hint you guys should sleep together" and it didnt seem like a threat and she didnt really enjoy it. I think why this second guy bothered me was because i didnt have a face to put to him, and i didnt hear about how it was/how she felt very soon afterwards and i felt a little betrayed.
Like the first guy it was "haha guess what i was forced to do xD" and the second guy was "hey he's over in my room tonight" it was just different for some reason.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:23 AM
Helo's Avatar
Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 278

That sounds pretty standard.

My running policy with my ladyfriends is I don't care who they bang, as long as its someone that respects them and respects the relationship that we have. If they end up falling in love, awesome, same requests are still in place. I would always prefer to know and trust the other person intimately but I feel even less comfortable trying to dictate their lives based on my own comfort level.

If you're more familiar with someone, you trust them more. Someone being intimate with someone you care about is a really fucking personal thing and you're less likely to be comfortable when its just "some guy" as opposed to someone you are at least familiar with.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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