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  #561  
Old 02-16-2013, 10:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, it's a board for perverts. I do not find it scary at all. Quite friendly and fun.

The OP does not seem vanilla so I do not get your point.
Relating my own experience with FetLife. I'm (relatively) vanilla.
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  #562  
Old 02-17-2013, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
I happen to be poly, within limits, which I've elaborated on in another thread I started.

Not interested in Fetlife at this time, though thank you for suggesting it.
OK, I read your other thread.

To find a Master, I am not sure why you wouldnt try "Facebook for kinky people," aka Fetlife. Or collarme.com. That's another place full of eager so-called Doms. Maybe you'd find a good one. My gf is there and gets about 30 hits a day. She's sub.
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  #563  
Old 02-17-2013, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
OK, I read your other thread.

To find a Master, I am not sure why you wouldnt try "Facebook for kinky people," aka Fetlife. Or collarme.com. That's another place full of eager so-called Doms. Maybe you'd find a good one. My gf is there and gets about 30 hits a day. She's sub.
I think I have a master, is why.

The whole reason I'm like this now, is become of him. He's melded me into who I am. She's irreplaceable.

No one else can be my Master.
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  #564  
Old 02-17-2013, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
I think I have a master, is why.

The whole reason I'm like this now, is become of him. He's melded me into who I am. She's irreplaceable.

No one else can be my Master.
But this is the post you wrote when you started this thread:


Quote:
Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
I'd like to find someone worthy of dominating me. I'd like to find someone to fit me that way. Someone to pull my strings and make me move how they want me to move which is also how I need to move (for me). Someone as intense as me. And who can tone me down and make me behave and get a grip. But someone who also knows when I know best.

Sigh. Yeah. Pretty impossible.
So, could you make up your mind, please? which is it? Do you have a Master or don't you? Are you looking for one or aren't you? Is it "impossible" or not?
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  #565  
Old 02-17-2013, 06:09 PM
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
But this is the post you wrote when you started this thread:




So, could you make up your mind, please? which is it? Do you have a Master or don't you? Are you looking for one or aren't you? Is it "impossible" or not?




Yes, I feel like I do. But perhaps on that day I felt frustrated. Or too alone. My master and I are learning each other I think.

Letting go of your own power, when you are very strong, isn't easy. At the same time, you are building trust (if the relationship is to grow and blossom), and both must occur when you meld with someone else. People aren't linear equations; we have quirks and issues affecting us that can put a kink in things.

I modeled the OP basically on what my master has awakened in me. And I hope and pray that it continues to progress. That is all I know.

I'm sorry if my post confused anyone.
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  #566  
Old 02-18-2013, 01:32 AM
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http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...t=BDSM&page=53

That is the main BDSM thread. TBH- I think the touchy, in part, comes from local communities that blend poly meets with BDSM munches. It makes people who are poly, but vanilla feel unwelcomed and uncomfortable. We've had people leave the NY state's poly site because they felt that there were too many people on there involved in kink and felt marginalized. It is better to have only one thread where everyone who wants to participate in the conversation can find it, rather than have multiple threads appear that might scare people off perhaps?
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  #567  
Old 02-18-2013, 03:07 AM
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Meh, I disagree.

I think anything that promotes discussion and communication is good. Isn't that a poly concept after all? Open Communication?

I've already stated that bdsm is too broad a category. All kinds of detailed threads are started on here. I see no reason a D/s thread is out of place.
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  #568  
Old 02-18-2013, 03:14 AM
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D/s to me is an add on to poly. For some, poly is an add on to D/s. They are not necessarily linked. On THIS particular thread in THIS section linking the two would be appropriate. If other stuff about D/s is of interest then it would be best to start a new thread in the "fireplace" section.

The assumption that poly and D/s go hand in hand is just that.... an assumption. If there is one thing I have learned about poly is to not assume or expect anything. I often realize that what I have in my head is not factual when I do this.

Our community too has had its divisions around this. There is a fracture that has occured that has divided those that enjoy casual sex (sex parties, swinging, private encounters), those who practice D/s and those that are poly. There are over laps but they don't go hand in hand for everyone.
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  #569  
Old 02-18-2013, 03:34 AM
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Thanks, RP, that's what I was trying to say, but my brain is muddled today. For us, BDSM is an add on to poly because the relationships existed before kink was added to them. For others it may happen differently. For others it may not happen at all and that is okay too.

I respect that others will disagree and that there are those who are poly who do not wish to have poly associated with the kink community much the same way that I do not feel that swinging goes hand in hand with poly. That is why I suggested that we move any further discussion about D/s to the BDSM thread in the Fireplace. Because if you just want to talk about D/s in general, the General Discussion thread is not the place for it unless you are relating it to a specific poly relationship. IMO.
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  #570  
Old 02-18-2013, 03:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
Suck me bitches.

D/s is totally a poly subject.
Wow, is that really how you respond to a Moderator suggesting your thread may be in the wrong place and offering to move it for you?

And D/s is a subject that can stand alone. It isn't "totally" a poly subject. I mean, come on - a little common sense will tell you otherwise. Many people into D/s are not poly and many poly people are not into D/s at all. Just because you combine the two in your life doesn't mean everyone does. :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
As I already said, the BDSM thread is a large subject. It is completely logical to start a thread for D/s.
At the very least, this thread should be in the Fireplace, I think. You're not really talking about anything specifically poly here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
Did a tag search and don't see any compelling threads. Perhaps you could link the best one? And we'll see if it's applicable.
Um, hello? I was the first one to respond to your original post with a link to our Master Thread on BDSM. Scroll back to the first page to see it.

There used to be less of a number of threads on similar topics here back when one of the Mods used to merge topics to create Master Threads. There was a reason for that; it makes it easier to find variety of discussions on specific subjects. The Master Thread on BDSM addresses any and all aspects of that subject. If you want to discuss something specific about only D/s, that is the appropriate thread this should be merged with.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-18-2013 at 03:52 AM.
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