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  #1121  
Old 02-06-2013, 08:00 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Indeed, good to hear from you. And there is progress Hoping that you will continue to move in a direction that brings you more calm, rest and security in life.
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  #1122  
Old 02-06-2013, 02:35 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Hi Carma! Hugs! I've often wondered how you were doing. I am glad to hear you are moving on with your life.

Is Butch's son a teenager or younger? If so, time may help. He may grow out of the extreme judginess.

Why is Butch hiding your relationship from his kids? Is he fearful he could not see them if he was open about seeing you? Job stuff? Is there custody issues or something along those lines?

If there isn't, why is he hiding you? Act like a cheater - hiding things - and his kids will think he is a cheater. Being open and honest will be very painful initially but probably better for him and his kids in the long run. Teaches them that life is fucking complicated. I wonder if that is more about him than his kids. Does he have some shame issues about your relationship? Does he feel he broke you and Sundance up?

As for the falling in love thing, give him some time too. Both of you have had some traumatic, painful, hard stuff to deal with. It takes time to heal from a divorce - give both of you that time. And he may never express love in a way that you recognize. (This is that five love language stuff I blather on about.) He clearly values you - he's stuck around through some very hard times.

And, after a while, if he never wants a relationship in the same way you want, know that you deserve what you want. Learn what you can from your relationship with Butch and move on if need be.
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  #1123  
Old 02-07-2013, 12:55 AM
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nouryia nouryia is offline
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Default Feeling worn out...must be that time of year.

Lately, I'm just overwhelmed, tired, run down and feel in need of a week away by the ocean with an umbrella drink. Sadly, that isn't going to happen.

I've been feeling as if I spoke up about all the thoughts that are swirling in my mind lately, I'd hurt and piss off a lot of people. Sometimes being honest, completely honest, just isn't good for relationships in general. Not just romantic ones. And biting my tongue is hard...it makes me feel under pressure and stressed out, but it's necessary.

~screams into her pillow in frustration~
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Last edited by nouryia; 02-07-2013 at 12:59 AM.
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  #1124  
Old 02-08-2013, 04:29 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Tired and had a frustrating day, but got some things done and am now feeling okay. But just okay, not great.


I totally have not paid attention to any news or info about the blizzard that's expected tomorrow. I have been completely oblivious and am not really prepared. I hope that my power stays on. I'll be at work when the Nor-easter is supposed to hit, so we'll probably get out early tomorrow. If public transportation grinds to a halt, looks like I might have to walk home through the park. It's only a little over a mile and a half, which is fine. That's equal to only about 30 short blocks, which is nothing for a New Yorker. I just hope no snow-laden tree branches fall on my head and kill me.
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"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 02-08-2013 at 05:14 AM.
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  #1125  
Old 02-08-2013, 05:01 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Last Thursday (a week ago) I was angsty and irritable. I leaned heavily on MrS to assuage my angst - even though he wasn't the cause of it. He gave and gave until I had asked one too many times - then he snapped and felt bad because he couldn't "make" me feel better. Oops. This snapped me into perspective and I addressed things appropriately.

Good for a day or two.

Then I am back to cranky and irritable due to another minor issue...lather. rinse. repeat.

Tuesday I was home with both of my boys and had a LOVELY homey evening (nothing out of the ordinary, just everyday warm lovingness).

Wednesday - they had plans and were gone before I got home, missed them but no issues. They ended up staying with friends but I txt'd / spoke with each of them before bed.

Today, inexplicably happy and content - despite the fact that I wouldn't see them again until late at night and they would probably be asleep. Snippets of Tuesday evening comfortably running through my brain.

Right now? MrS snoring in the bed, Dude snoring on the couch, dogs snoring on the floor. Me catching up on my poly "stories" here and just ... really happy with my life.

JaneQ

PS. With regards to my recent bouts of angst/irritability with Dude - I think that these are relationship "growing pains" - we've had several months of calm seas since the NRE has worn off and are now learning to relate to each other as we "really are" - nothing major, no huge blow-ups - but a necessary adjustment. (After each "bout" I find we are closer and more and more on the "same page" - I think I did the same sort of thing with MrS years ago...just feels new and raw since I am out of practice?)

PPS. I really AM a crotchety cynical curmudgeon at heart...these boys just somehow manage to melt that into warm contentment on a regular basis - what a magic trick!
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 02-08-2013 at 05:04 AM.
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  #1126  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:57 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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nycindie, and any of our other noreasters, I hope you all survived the blizzard.

Jane, thanks for the drop of sunshine!

Me, I've had a redonkulus flu, and pretty much have been in my apartment since 1/30. I was at work two half days last week, then couldn't breathe on Tuesday night. Against my own judgement, and at the urging of advice nurse and my doc (who happened to be the doc on call that night) went to the ER. Stupid. I sat there four hours, no one who had been there when I arrived got seen, so I came home (I was afraid with lack of sleep I wouldn't be able to get home if I stayed)(and I knew I wasn't bad enough to be admitted). Slept all day, talked to my sweet FBF, and he said 'call me back if you die.' (I kept joking about it)

Not five minutes after I hung up from him, I started full-blown norovirus symptoms. Lost five pounds in 6ish hours. Again, nurse & docs freak out. I must be seen. Ah, no. Not making that mistake again. My clinic had no appointments and wanted me to go to urgent care. So I could get another virus? I think not.

Yesterday, I put shoes on for the first time in three days. Felt like my life force was returning. I wanted to go out and PLAY. Fortunately, I didn't. Because today, I pretty much feel like death might be more pleasant again.

So grateful to be part of this forum so I don't feel quite so isolated.
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
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with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #1127  
Old 02-13-2013, 02:04 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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So the boys are off together on a westward road-trip. So far they have done 1800 miles in 2 1/2 days. They are taking the day tomorrow to stop and do some National Park hiking. I'm flying out on Friday to meet them and spend a week before flying back while they drive.

I miss them but am glad they are having a good time. I was just a little worried - because spending that much time in the car with someone can be a strain and MrS is used to traveling with just me (and we are really good at traveling together) but apparently Dude's style of road-trip is pretty compatible with what we are used to.

Before he left, Dude was planning some activities for us at the destination we are meeting up at (he used to live in the area). Had a funny moment as he was making reservations for one activity as he almost signed us up for the "Valentine's Day" package...then realized that making a reservation for a "romantic dinner for three" might be problematic

Reminds me of the time last spring when we were in AC and I had a tough time getting the clerk to give me a room with a king-sized bed (as I had reserved.) We finally go that all straightened out and then....I asked for three keys. Confusion. He said: "You know this room has a king-sized bed, right?"....I was soooooo tempted to reply: "Oh, REALLY?! In that case I'll take FOUR."

Life is grand (even if the house is a little lonely right now with just me and the animals).

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #1128  
Old 02-16-2013, 12:45 AM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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Ho boy has my life been boring and "interesting" in alternating spurts.

So about a month ago I get fluid build up in my ear. It turns into a middle ear infection but doesn't really hurt. What it does do is damage the workings of my ear and, even after the infection was gone, made me mostly deaf in my left side. Seeing as all my senses are pretty sharp it was very disconcerting to have a side people could sneak up on. Thankfully about a week or so ago my hearing in that ear returned to almost normal.

Other then that, it's been assorted craziness with my friends and work. What's supposed to be the slow time at work has been anything but. Orders keep coming in and we keep working OT to try and get them out the door.

I'm looking forward to, hopefully, getting a month or two of relative stillness in my life.

Well okay, a new romance might be nice. But other then that!
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  #1129  
Old 02-16-2013, 01:54 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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If anyone deserves a new romance, it's you babe.
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  #1130  
Old 02-27-2013, 05:12 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Woot! Got good news about my job! There is plenty of work for me if my current situation falls through. I am so relieved. I was really worried about it.
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