Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 02-15-2013, 11:08 PM
franchescasc's Avatar
franchescasc franchescasc is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 123
Default When do you define the poly relationship

To catch up on my story, here's my intro:

So, where we are now....All is well on the front with my husband FJ & I. We are in a really good place of understanding and connection.

But (there's always a but, isn't there?) my gf MD is a mystery. She knows exactly where I'm at, and how I feel about her, and how FJ feels about us. What I don't know is how SHE feels about all of this. I'm unsure whether this is a relationship MD wants to pursue, or if it's just a fun thing for her that isn't too serious. Things that she's said leads me to believe she has really strong feelings for me. But I also get the feeling she feels like this is a relationship that isn't going to go anywhere else. Mostly because she keeps talking about where we live. And she's right. No one here would get it. It's a super small town, she's lived here forever, and it would be all anyone would talk about. It certainly would hurt my reputation as a fundraiser for a big non-profit here.

I'm ok with it being a secret except for among a very few close friends. Do I try and define the relationship with her moving forward, or do I just enjoy what time and energy she can give me for now? It gets frustrating and confusing to guess what we are. If I should back off and give her space, or push the talk to set up expectations. Ugh. I am definitely leaning towards just space and when she wants to hang out, I'll be there. But, I have only ever had a relationship with totally open communication, so it's hard to act differently. Thoughts?

FJ-husband of 13 years-virgins when we married-mono male
MD-gf for 4 months-probably mono, maybe poly
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 01:38 AM.