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Old 02-15-2013, 11:32 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Of course not. Why would there be anything wrong with it? What misunderstandings could come out of my saying I want sex? I would never have thought there is something wrong with that.
Well, I know there are folks who would immediately jump at the chance to "call you out for acephobia" and pull off their usual antics.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
However, I must correct you - I didn't make a decision. I just know that's what I've always wanted. I view sex as a form of communication and I want to be able to express myself sexually. I didn't sit around and think about it, and decide that "no sex is a deal-breaker." No sex doesn't work for me in a love relationship, not only because I have a high libido, but because I honor my need for that kind of connection. I can have casual sex with people I am not in love with but I can't be happy without sex in a relationship with people I do love as more than friends. It would just make me too sad not to be able to completely express who I am with them. My ex and I drifted apart because we were no longer having sex and I became extremely depressed to be laying next to him at night and without being physically intimate.
That still is a decision... you still always have the option to try it anyway, but you know yourself well enough to be able to tell that it has no chance to work happily without going against your nature. If you wanted to pay the price (depression), you could go celibate today - you're simply aware of the fact that it would not in any way be reasonable for you to do so.

I know I've never wanted sex, but that doesn't make it any less of a decision against sexual relationship for me. (Especially when I'm with a partner who certainly wouldn't mind a romp in the sheets with me. I know that it's something R. consciously gave up in regards to our ship - it wasn't a big deal for her to give up, but a deal it was.) It's just a very, very easy decision to make, for me... much as the decision not to be celibate remains very, very easy for you. And that's cool.
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