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Old 02-14-2013, 09:24 PM
FluffyKitten FluffyKitten is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
Default He's poly, he loves me, but ...

A friend introduced me to this guy (let's call him A) and we hit it off pretty well. I found him really, really cute right from the beginning but I also knew from early on that he has a boyfriend (B). After his company's Christmas party he stayed at my place (because, you know, don't drink and drive) and that was when he told me that B is actually his first boyfriend and he had girlfriends before. He also told me that he's poly and that he and B have an open relationship.
I'll try to make a long story short: I told him I have a crush on him and he told me that right now he doesn't have feelings for me, but we should see where it leads us. Later he told me that he has feelings for me. About two days later he told me that if he had met me earlier than his boyfriend, we would be in a relationship now instead of him and B.
At some point he told me that B could imagine having sex with me, despite being "90% gay", and when I spent the night with them about three weeks ago, B initiated a threesome. About a week ago I spent the night with B and it wasn't exactly pg-13 either.
I had a fight with A a few days after I stayed at B's place and at the end A told me that he loves me... (B only told me that he likes me.) And he also told me again that if a relationship were about different things, he would be together with me instead of B.
Today I spent the afternoon with A and we started teasing each other. He told me that I was crazy (I can't remember anymore why he said that). "Yeah, but you like me anyways." He hugged me close, then, and told me, "on the contrary, I love you."
And I don't really know what to do. I don't want to take A away from B, because I'm not that type of girl. (And doing that would hurt B and I like B way too much for that.)
I told A once that I can get a bit possessive and jealous, although I tried not to show it when it comes to him. (He has another guy he sees and that stings a bit, especially since he calls their relationship 'romance' but doesn't want to put a name/label/whatever on our relationship.) And he often reminds me that we're not in a relationship. So it feels a bit like my possessiveness is the reason for that...
And I also don't know what to make out of B's behavior. He never said he was poly and apart from the "I could imagine making out with her" and "I like you a lot" never said anything concerning his feelings.

I know I should talk to them, probably separately, but this whole thing confuses me completely. I don't know if I should just ask B for his feelings and ask A if he wants a relationship with me or if I should just talk about this feelings-problem-thingy first.
I'm grateful for any kind of advice you can give me, because I'm totally new to this.
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