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Old 02-14-2013, 05:05 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 261

My ideal relationship? Long distance, no exclusivity, no long-term commitment, no sex between us (my partner having sex with others is fine and dandy, though, if she wants to). Based on honesty, independence, and mutual respect... A form of "(best) friends with fuzzily defined benefits", basically... and awesomely, that's exactly the 'ship I've been in for the last almost-five years and running.
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Old 02-14-2013, 04:59 PM
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StudentofLife StudentofLife is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 117

It's always nice when I read here that someone has exactly what they want. I like the inspiration.
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Old 04-04-2014, 12:39 PM
laerhk laerhk is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 23

I love daydreamy what-if questions.

My ideal...Relationships where I can ask a question and get an answer...even if the answer is "can I think about this one for a little while?" Where I don't feel I'm always instigating the conversations. Where I can be as honest about my affection as I am with my thoughts. And then at the end of the night, be in a cuddle pile. ♡

Note: I originally started the paragraph saying "a relationship..." Then I realized not only can A relationship be like this but that I can have MORE than one and they could ALL be like this! *geeked*
Me: 39, female, identified as both bi and poly Spring 2014, married with younger kids, actively dating
J: 40, male, also actively dating
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:17 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 398

My ideal poly situation: my husband and I either sharing a home with the rest of the poly family or being just a house or two away (a plot with a main house and mother in law house would be the best since we'd be in the same place and my husband could still know there is space just his or ours).

I would hope for two children (prefer one with each of my men) and I know my poly sister wants two as well. Plan would be to homeschool them.

I would be a housewife, my poly sister would work from home as a counselor (her work dream), and the three men who like working would.

Now if Elle and NT's relationship lead to marriage another house, 2 more kids to school, and a fourth out of the house worker would be added.

What is nice is this long term and highly committed (including commitment ceremonies/poly weddings for the non legal couples) dream of the future is shared by the poly family.
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:09 AM
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Smiles Smiles is offline
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 72

Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
You just did say something.

I don't have an "ideal" relationship, but I'm pretty satisfied with the husband I have right now. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Although it is nice to know that if one of us ever wants to see someone else, it doesn't mean our marriage is over.
I don't know what my nirvana would be. I haven't found it yet. I love my wife but there is no sexual chemistry.... I don't believe any one person would ever be everything...It is nice to know that if I have an interest in another woman, even sexually, it won't end our marriage. That is my priority....

Our friend Trixie was over visiting us with her daughter. Our daughters are best friends. Trixie is the one who witnessed our open marriage contract. There was a moment of perfection...With Trixie there, her 2 children, my wife all 3 of us keeping the kids entertained, and just talking...we seemed to be good together... I made a comment about it as well...they didn't admit to it, but it felt interesting...Trixie is reading the book, Sex Before Dawn...She would be a good poly partner....

Perfect? Don't know. It maybe worth exploring...

Last edited by nycindie; 07-23-2016 at 12:01 AM.
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:02 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 672

My ideal has shifted. I used to want a big, happy poly family all under one roof or on one property with multiple homes.

Now I question my ability to share a home with another woman. Not completely out of the question, but I just don't know how I would handle it since I'm fairly set in my ways and enjoy having my own domain.

I guess my ideal at this point would still be everyone I care about (and the people my people care about) living in close proximity -either shared property or within walking distance - of one another. I'd love to share a home with Hubby and another partner of mine. I know Hubby is comfortable with this idea for the future.

I think Hubby wants kids, but I don't really want to have any of my own at this time. So, my ideal would include him having a second home with a partner who wants children as well. In theory, with the right person, I could share a home so he wouldn't have to split his time at all and the kids could have both/all (if I'm involved in a parental role) parents more accessible most times. I wouldn't mind coparenting, I just don't want to pass on my shitty genes. I also wouldn't be opposed to adoption, but I don't know that I will ever prioritize having kids enough to make that happen.

Being able to have the extended family network together for holidays, birthdays, occasional game nights, etc. is important to me in the long run.
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Old 04-11-2014, 09:28 PM
Sphynx Sphynx is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 8

I donno, more then one, at least 1 of each gender...The more the merrier I think.
But gotta get 1 before I get more lol
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Old 04-17-2014, 12:50 PM
sweetersong sweetersong is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 25

I think my ideal would be a closed V with my as the hinge or a closed triad, all living together. We are VERY new to this though and currently in a poly/mono (ok technically not yet, but will be when I find someone) , so not sure when, or if we would get to this ideal, but it seems like what life "should" be like to me
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Old 05-30-2014, 08:01 PM
devjac21 devjac21 is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tifton, GA
Posts: 12
Default the past...

My husband and I had a serious girlfriend once. The relationship was great, but I did not know it until it was too late. I want that again. That connection, the trio of love that others frown upon. I dont care, I just miss it. I love my husband, and have enough love for a woman as well. And I actually love seeing my husband with another woman, not just sexually. There is something intimate and deep about it.
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Old 06-02-2014, 12:07 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,407

For me, an ideal relationship is not a certain number, combination, set, or type of people, genders, orientations, rules, structures, or connections. Instead, it's defined by how the people involved treat each other. It's above all an emotional environment where everyone feels safe. It's communication without competition, listening without retort, honesty without ruthlessness. It's warmth, support, and laughter. Indeed it's many of the things that I often fail to provide myself. An ideal relationship is something I'll always strive for, though like the speed of light I'll only approach it; not in a million years will I ever arrive.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And have standards for the compassionate treatment that you, too, should receive. These are the keys I concentrate on when I try to help build a loving poly household with my two human (and our other two) companions.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

Last edited by kdt26417; 06-02-2014 at 12:12 AM.
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