Iíve been thinking lately about the desired destination for myself and The Pidge. Why we have chosen to explore polyamory as a desired state for our relationship, what we hope to gain from it, and how we go about implementing it. Weíre aware that without the input of our eventual third person, much of our discussion is in theory only. Still, we need to have some idea where weíre trying to go.
For me, itís straightforward. I miss having a relationship with a man. I miss the energy, and the absurd feeling of happiness caused by being around someone physically larger and stronger than I am. I feel safe about it, itís all familiar territory. I just want that NRE again before I get too old and hag-like for it to be possible. Whatís new is being able to admit I want it, to try to add it it to an existing relationship without cheating, without guilt. It almost seems to good to be true. In my happy little vision, The Pidge, Toilet Seat Guy and I spend happy, loving time together. We donít all live together, but sleep-overs happen frequently, and our bed is big enough for three, plus two teddy bears and a cat.
For The Pidge, itís not so simple. I hope that soon she comes back to the forum and interacts with me and others. I can only say that any man who treats her with gentle loving kindness, who gives her what she wants and makes her happy, will be my hero. Thatís the number one priority.
How do some of the rest of you newbies see your journey and envision your destination? What does your ideal world look like, say, five years from now?