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  #131  
Old 02-10-2013, 12:24 AM
nondy2 nondy2 is offline
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SC: That is a good point. Thank you. I want to be clear that I did not tell my son he is too young for his feelings. I told him that internet video porn was too much for him at this age and I would buy him a magazine if he wanted to look at it. I also have made it clear masturbating is normal and feelings for others are normal.

BG _ i am sorry. You did trigger me, I do find your comments totally unaware of disability empowerment and very offensive. However, I noticed that you said you were in an accident? Is there a chance that your now fear of becoming disabled has turned you against or made you suspicious of people who are comfortable with their disability? I say this without irony. I was born with my body and am used to it. It is 'normal" for me. I can understand the process (or empathize with) a person who might become disabled would go through. This, in fact, is a huge division in the disability rights community and why some people loved christopher reeves but many disabled people hated him (his MO was fix me, not society). I am sorry this got out of hand.
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  #132  
Old 02-10-2013, 12:25 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by nondy2 View Post
Huh...? Someone who thinks having a disability isn't the worst nightmare and thinks that crippled is has the same effect as fag is a horrible person? uh, ok..

I agree. I feel bad for people who are chided for not having kids. I think that is horrible and ridiculous. On the other hand, I'd rather not have people who aren't around kids tell me what kids "know." But that is fine.

i was a kid once. when i was 10, like your son, i found Debbie Does Dallas in my father's porn collection and invited a bunch of neighborhood kids over to watch it. And Other Things. So i know "what kids know". Your approval is not required.

I think once people become parents, they forget what it was like to BE a kid, and I think that people who DON'T have kids are better at remembering what it was like to be one. Yes, i think it's time for a head-tilt-eyeroll?
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  #133  
Old 02-10-2013, 12:32 AM
nondy2 nondy2 is offline
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Let me guess, it's not your problem to explain that to him; that trans* kid should have to not only struggle through his or her own personal challenges, but also the burden of educating your kids for you?


No, I totally agree, we should educate our job about trans. My point was that most DO NOT. I would also hope that, since there are way way more disabled people than trans people, that parents would discuss autism, Downs, cerebral palsy and other impairments with their kids. Judging from to 100s of kids in my life that have stared at me and beed shocked by my disability, that has yet to happen. Which was my only point earlier. Homosexuality and gender difference is acknowledged to some extent disability is not.
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  #134  
Old 02-10-2013, 08:27 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by nondy2 View Post
Hi All,

Boring guy has said things that I find ableist, unkind, and aggressive.
According to you. Others may (and do) disagree with that assessment.

Again, if you don't like BG's style of discussion--which is very straightforward and some folks don't care for blunt talk--then ignore the posts. It really is that simple.

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If you chose to restrict me from the site...
There are two ways to leave the site, and they are both due to your choice. The first is to simply not click the link in your browser to view the site and participate. The second is to violate the guidelines to the extent that you accrue enough points to get banned.

You could also choose to show up and participate and not earn points.

It's up to you.
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  #135  
Old 02-10-2013, 08:40 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by nondy2 View Post
I have every right to use crippled as a person taking back a slur. You, my friend, should not.
If you use the term to refer to yourself in a message here, others can use the term to refer to you, too. To reclaim a word from being used as a pejorative, it can't still be a pejorative when used by other people. It either is a slur or it is not--you can't have it both ways.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #136  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:30 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Exclamation Unlocked.

Now that everyone has had a chance to take a breather, we'll re-open the thread since it seemed to be heading back towards a viable and productive discussion.

We do expect it will remain on-topic and civil. I am glad to see that this thread has allowed several community members new and old to learn about each other, their communication styles, and what things they might consider sensitive or triggering.
With reopening, I expect that the definition of Civil will include due care and respect provided by this new knowledge.
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  #137  
Old 02-10-2013, 06:03 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I think once people become parents, they forget what it was like to BE a kid, and I think that people who DON'T have kids are better at remembering what it was like to be one. Yes, i think it's time for a head-tilt-eyeroll?
Two things, part of my mental issues is that my memories of being a child are few and far between. I have maybe a handful from before age 13. Some people think I need to remember, others say I never will and that's a good thing. Regardless, what does happen is when I do remember something, it's from that POV. I don't remember things like most people, looking back, putting a different spin on it now that they are adults. I remember it as if it just happened. So it's hard for me to pinpoint an age most of the time. I remember so vividly what it felt like that I'm almost hyper aware of what my kids feel or think. There are things adults say that seem no big deal but they have no idea that it's going to stick with the kid for the rest of their life! That one little comment could become so important to the kid. I think remembering what I DO remember this way is why I've always been big on telling my kids to talk to me. That I'll be honest, if I don't know I don't know. I remember being stuck playing nursemaid to adults but being expected to sit there silently and NOT hear what they were talking about or even understand. I did though, much more than any of them realized. So I know my kids know more than I tell them. Which is why it IS my job to talk to them about everything. Not lecture, but talk. Sure sometimes they need a lecture, we all do, but if it's a discussion they can ask questions and we can discuss what they are wanting to as well.

Secondly, Head Tilt Eye Roll! YES! I'm starting a thing. There's no emoticon for it yet, but maybe I'll work on one.
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  #138  
Old 02-10-2013, 08:28 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by Vixtoria View Post

Secondly, Head Tilt Eye Roll! YES! I'm starting a thing. There's no emoticon for it yet, but maybe I'll work on one.

i know that comment was pure conjecture and generalization, annd carries no persuasive merit whatsoever. But it just SEEMS that way.

ok, i started writing a bunch of stuff and i got carried away and forgot the point i waas trying to make.

Also, my keyboard sometimes repeats letters and it's too mucch of a pain in the ass to fix it on the ipod.
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  #139  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:34 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nondy2 View Post
. . . I'd rather not have people who aren't around kids tell me what kids "know."
I hope you're not including me in this statement. Do you assume that because no babies ever popped out of me, I am never "around kids?" Sheesh, lady, really. Just because I did the most responsible and ethical thing I could do by choosing a child-free life, doesn't mean I don't know anything about parenting or children. And I don't need to tell you anything about my life story to justify my stance to you or anyone. Fuck that.

Look, people, I don't know why I keep getting mentioned in this fucking thread. I simply read a statement by the OP, said I didn't understand it, offered an opinion as to why it didn't makes sense to me, got a response, and then acknowledged that the statement now made sense to me after further details were given. Nondy didn't even acknowledge that and now I keep getting mentioned as if I said something horrible. I don't get it. To reiterate: I said I didn't understand something, stated why, got a response, and then replied, "Nondy, I do understand you better now. What you said in response to my post does make sense and now I get what you meant," after which I moved on. Now all of a sudden, I am being cited as someone who shouldn't talk about parenting if I am not a parent? WTF? What am I missing here? How did this thread get so crazy and weird?

I never tried to strong-arm anyone into changing their feelings of opinions on anything, nor do I care one iota if anyone agrees with me. I haven't been online since Friday until now, and I am obviously not that invested in following this conversation, so I am stymied why I come back here and read it to find myself referenced here multiple times, as if I said something offensive. I thought my part of the conversation was over, for fuck's sake.
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  #140  
Old 02-11-2013, 05:15 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Nycindie, I don't think it was about you. When you said, "I hope you're not including me in this statement." I think you were quite correct, because I believe she was referring to the posts below:

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I guarantee your son knows about abortion.

I am prepared now for rebuttal about how i can't possibly know what someone else's child knows better than the parent does.

If your son can read and/or understand at least one spoken language, he knows about abortion. Anti-porn software does not apply to information about abortion.
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Not having our own children has ZERO to do with us pointing out that a literate 10-year-old in modern Western society has their own resources for finding information (accurate and otherwise) that their parents do not provide or want to share in a discussion.



I'm "pushing you to be liberal"? That's just silly.

Yes, I've spoken openly about all those things. So?

No, I don't have kids. Don't like them, don't want them, didn't have them. Child-free by um, CHOICE.

Yes, I've discussed all that with my [imaginary] youngsters.
And even then, her reaction to BG was based on more than just these statements, I think, but went back to other perceived insults.

So no, I'd venture to say none of it had anything to do with you. There were several posts I don't think got acknowledged, just because of the sheer number of posts over a period of time. I doubt it was purposefully ignoring. And we're just strangers on the internet, remember? It's not worth getting upset about.
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