What to do when your partner is grieving the end of a relationship?
Darling broke up with Chatty and it was not an easy break up. Chatty did not take it well and Darling has decided to not have contact with her (as described in my earlier post about BPD). He is very depressed now and keeps coming to me for reassurances that he is not an horrible person. Today he basically hibernated in bed. Rationally, I know he is grieving the loss of this relationship. I know it will take time for him to recover. I am trying to support him as much as possible but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I'm having some irrational feelings. I am a bit depressed myself because he can't be with me emotionally right now. He head is very full of her right. He starts a conversation with me about how he is feeling and then when I talk back tells me that he doesn't want to talk about it. I am paranoid he will contact her and we will start back on the roller coaster again if I don't give him constant emotional support. If he does that, I know that I will have to step back from him. I love him very much and am afraid that will happen. Then I feel guilty because "how dare I be thinking about myself" when he is in so much pain?
I think I am taking on too much but I don't know how to support him but not loose myself in his grief.